


Pasts and Secrets

by SilvermistAnimeLover



Category: Diary Entries - Fandom, Hetalia - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-05-08 02:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5479367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilvermistAnimeLover/pseuds/SilvermistAnimeLover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the World Meeting is interrupted by a book, the nations are forced to read each other's diary entries out loud. To the whole world. What secrets will be revealed? Who's masks will break? Who's pasts will come to light? Old scars are opened and old wounds are healed. Diary entries based off of Hetalia Diary Entry pictures online. T for cussing. Various pairings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

It was a normal World Meeting. Italy was staring off into space while the room was in chaos. Greece was fast asleep buried under a furry pile of cats, and Japan was avidly taking notes on who-knows-what. Germany was about 10 seconds away from blowing a gasket, when suddenly, a bright light flashed, catching the attention of every nation in the room.

            “What the bloody hell was _that_?!” England asked, startled.

Before anyone could say anything else, the flash came again; but this time, it stayed. The light slowly dimmed down to a glowing white orb of light, as it traveled to the center of the meeting table. For the first time in history, the whole room was silent.

“Nations of the world.” A powerful masculine voice said; it rang strong and true throughout the room. A few nations gasped, recognizing the voice instantly. Italy and Romano shared a glance of disbelief, each one nearly in tears.

“But… _how_?!” China gasped, unable to believe that the Great Roman Empire was actually speaking to him again.

“I haven’t much time… But before I continue, I’d like to apologize to my grandsons, Veneziano and Romano. I’m sorry for leaving you two all alone, but know that we’re watching you up here. We—the ancients—have noticed that many of you suffer in silence, and aim to fix that _now_.”

Another bright flash, and with a quiet _thump_ , a rather good-sized book appeared; its cover plain and simple light brown with no writing.

“This book is comprised from specific entries from each of your journals and diaries.” Many protests sprang up from multiple nations at that statement.

“Please, children, be silent.” A kind, motherly voice said.

“M-Mother?” Egypt asked, eyes wide with disbelief.

“My son… Know that I still love you and watch over you… Always…”

“And I you, my son…” Ancient Greece spoke with kindness, but her voice held the undertone of a warrior. Greece, for once attentive and alert, looked ready to cry with joy at the sound of his mother’s voice.

“My sons…” A new female voice, strong and deep and wise, sounded. America and Canada gasped. “How strong each of you have grown. Alfred… Matthew… Remember to always listen to the Spirits of the Ancestors, and let them guide you.”

“Sorry to interrupt, but… What’s this about having our _Diaries_ and _Journals_ read out aloud to the entire world thing about?” England asked.

“Ah,” Rome started again, “Well, you all need to know each other a bit better before another World War breaks out… This should help quite a bit. It was either this, or showing all of your memories. We thought you’d appreciate this a bit more.”

“Why the fuck do we have to do this?!” Romano yells out in frustration. He did _not_ want his diary, journal—whatever!—read aloud to the whole fucking world!

“I’m so sorry about this, Lovi~ Same to you, Feli~ but… It’s the only way to help everyone, you two included.” Rome stated.

“Ja. Sorry Deutschland, Preußen, but it’s for the best.”

“V-Vati?!” Prussia cried out in shock.

“That’s Vati?” Germany quietly asked Prussia, who simply nodded, a silly grin on his face.

“Oh, and by the way~ none of you can leave this building until you’re done reading that entire book! And everyone must be present for it to be read!” Rome added.

“WHAT?!” Was the rather loud response, via 90% of the room.

“Well, we’re going to have to go now. God only gave us a short window to talk to you guys, so… Yea~ we’ll speak to you guys again when you’re done reading the book~! Ciao~”

With that, the orb of light shrunk down and vanished without a sound. The entire room was silent for all of 10 seconds before muttering and chatting started up all around.


	2. Secrets Revealed

“So… Who wants to read first?” America asked, holding up the book.

“You _can’t_ honestly mean to _read_ that, can you?!” England asked, appalled.

“Well, we can’t get outta here ‘till we read it, right? So we might as well get started now.”

“I’ll read, Да?” Russia stated with a big grin, as he snatched the book from Alfred’s hand.

“HEY! I’m the hero! I should read first!”

“It doesn’t matter who reads first, just someone read!” Germany snapped. With a smug smile, Russia sat back down in his seat, and opened the book.

“Ah, they’re rather short~” Russia stated. “This one is only one sentence.”

He cleared his throat, enjoying the nervousness of the nations around him. “It reads this, **Dear Diary, How does one know that they are not being forgotten? –Romano** ” All eyes snapped to Romano, who was trying to sink down underneath the table. His face was redder than any of Spain’s tomatoes.

“Roma?” Spain asked in worry. “Do you really feel that way?”

“Ve~ Fratello! I’d _never_ forget you!” Italy cried out, flustered and obviously bothered that his brother would think so little of him.

“CHIGI! I know, it’s just… I don’t feel _needed_ , okay?! Why the fuck are there two personifications for one damned nation?! I feel… FUCK! I don’t know… Just drop it, okay?! Fucking bastards…”

England awkwardly cleared his throat. “Perhaps we should move on to the next entry?”

Russia looked down and read out the next entry. “This one is Italy’s.”

At the mention of his name, Italy paled drastically. There were things in his diary that he _never_ wanted anyone to know—not even Romano.

“ **Dear Diary, I wish I wasn’t so clumsy. Then maybe Germany and Japan would find me more suitable for friendship. If I wasn’t as clumsy then maybe I wouldn’t be afraid of them not liking me anymore as well. –Italy.** ” Now all eyes turned to an equally red Italy.

“Italy?” Germany asked, shocked. “Do you really think that I’d stop being friends with you? Over something like that?”

“Or me, Itary-kun?”

Italy didn’t answer. All of his attention was on the suddenly interesting pattern of the floor. Germany lifted Italy’s chin so that they were staring each other in the eye. “Italy. I will _never_ stop being your friend, Ja?”

“P-promise? Pinky-swear?” Italy asked, holding up a shaking hand.

“Ja.” Germany’s strong pinky wrapped around Italy’s shaky one, steadying it. “I promise”

“As do I, Itary-kun.” Japan stated, taking Italy’s other pinky in his own. It was quite a touching moment.

“Grazie.” Italy said simply, a small smile of relief on his lips.

“Okay~ Next entry~” Russia stated much too happily. Hungary shot Russia a glare for interrupting the ‘yaoi moment’. “This one’s South Korea’s~” Said nation paled and shrunk into his seat.

“ **Dear Diary, I want to help him so bad. But how can you fix what 4,000 years of suffering has broken?** ”

South Korea couldn’t help but stare at China, who stared right back in shock. China couldn’t believe that he’d seen him break down. How many times had Yong Soo been watching him when he sobbed his heart out? How many times had Yong Soo seen him at his weakest without him realizing it?

No words were spoken, as England bravely took the book from Russia’s hands, and sat back down in his own seat.

“Right, sorry, but the next one’s also about you, South Korea.” England said, apologetically. “It reads, **Dear Diary, I act the way I do, so that no one will forget about me…** ”

“What, aru?” China asked quietly, staring, like the other Asian nations, at South Korea, who had now sunken in his seat again, face red, and eyes refusing to meet anyone.

“We’ll talk about this later, aru…” China stated, hyper-aware of the stares of the room’s occupants. South Korea visibly relaxed at that statement, as Japan grabbed a blank piece of paper to take down notes on things to talk about.

“The next one’s about you, Italy.” England said.

“Ve?! Again?!”

“Sorry. It reads, **Dear Diary, Romano was at Toni’s house for the weekend and Ludwig was with Gilbert for a few days. Three days ago was the first night I’ve slept alone in years. I had nightmares so bad I haven’t been able to sleep. I keep making sounds to help, but the house still feels so empty. It’s so scary. I haven’t told anyone how afraid of being alone I am. And for some reason, I can’t stop crying and over thinking. I’m not useless. I’m not a waste… So why am I so hollow in loneliness?** ” England’s voice trailed off. The whole room was in shock. Italy himself was trying his best to pull a Canada and vanish, but to no avail.

Nobody quite knew what to say. “Is that why you sleep in my bed every night?” Germany finally asked. Italy nods slightly. Even Romano looked to be at a loss for words; at least, until he blew up. “You _told_ me that you were staying at the Potato Bastard’s place, Damnit! If I’d known, I would’ve fucking come home!”

“That’s why I didn’t tell you, fratello! You needed some time alone with Spain! You hadn’t seen each other in awhile, and I didn’t want to ruin it for you…”

“Chigi. You’re my fratellino. I don’t want you to suffer at _all_ , idiota.”

After another long, awkward pause, England moved on to the next entry. “Ah, this one’s Germany’s.”

“Great. Just get it over with.”

“ **Dear Diary, Italy asked me last night why I grabbed one of my potatoes out of the bowl by my bed. I couldn’t tell him that when I have nightmares, I have a huge urge to eat a potato… That’s just embarrassing… so I told him I was hungry. I hope he doesn’t find out about the nightmares, it only makes him pry more into my life…** ”

“Ve? Doitsu lied to me…?” Italy looked like he was about to cry.

Prussia snickered next to Germany. “Kesesese… Nice job, West. Try getting out of this one!” He muttered under his breath.

“Nien! I mean, Ja, but… I was just embarrassed, okay? I didn’t want to worry you with such small things…”

“Really?” Germany nodded. “Okay, but you have to tell me from now on, okay? It isn’t good to keep these things bottled up inside… trust me, I know.” He muttered the last part so quietly, that Japan and Germany—who were sitting on either side of Italy—barely heard it.

“Okay. I promise.” Italy nodded, apparently satisfied with Germany’s answer, and looked back to England to continue reading.

“Okay, this one is Prussia’s.” Gilbert’s head whipped up in shock.

“Wait, what?! I’m not a nation anymore! The Awesome Me should be exempt from this! I’m too Awesome!”

“Well, you’re in here, so deal with it.” Hungary stated coolly.

“Fine, fine, whatever. YOU DON’T APPRECIATE ZE AWESOMENESS OF ME!”

England rolled his eyes, and started reading. “ **Dear Diary, Today I decided I’m gonna be awesome. Life is short and there is not much time, so I won’t waste a second of it. I’ll conquer every land and kingdom. I’ll save Elizabeta from that posh Austrian guy and we’ll rule together over everything. I‘ll become the greatest kingdom in the world and, when I die, I’ll leave my legacy behind me. Everyone will remember my name, and I’ll live forever!** ”

“I AM AWESOME!” Prussia yelled, startling the room. He then snatched the book from England, and opened it to the next entry. “Let’s see here… Greece?!”

Greece looked up from his cats, startled to hear his name.

“ **Dear Diary, I am breeding an army of cats. No one will be ready. And I will rule as cat king.** ” There were a few snickers and comments about that, lightening the atmosphere greatly.

“Darn………Now I…have to come up with……a new…plan…” Greece said sleepily.

“That wasn’t Awesome enough! NEXT! Belarus?!”

“What was that?!” Belarus shrieked, pulling out her knives. “You will _not_ read about me!”

“Sorry, but we have to.” America stated, not sounding sorry at all.

“Please little sis? I am interested to hear about everyone’s secrets.” Russia stated, quieting Belarus’ rage.

“Okay. If Big Brother wants to hear it…”

Prussia cleared his throat nervously. “ **Dear Diary, I heard England, Norway, Sealand, Wy, Scotland, Ireland, Wales, and apparently Japan can also see these weird creatures. I’ll try to talk to England later.** ” Silence.

“Wha?!” England spluttered, as did Scotland, Ireland, Wales, Norway, and—though much more discreetly—Japan. Thankfully, nobody was stupid enough or suicidal enough to directly confront Belarus on the matter.

“Next one, then… Ita~ Another one on you, though nothing heavy.”

“Ve~ Okay~”

“ **Dear Diary, I wonder if China would have some pasta with me? I mean, we both like noodles, so why not?** ” There were a few chuckles at that.

“Sure, aru~ I’d love to have pasta with you, Italy.” China stated with a grin. Italy’s return grin was only matched by his enthusiastic reply, which was much too fast for anyone but Romano to understand.

“Last one for the Awesome Me to read, **Dear Diary, Why does everyone think I’m obsessed with Iceland? I missed his childhood, after all. But was it wrong to miss what could have been more time between myself and my little brother?** ” The Nordics glanced at one another, agreeing to speak on this later, in a more private area.

“HAHAHA! The HERO will read now!” America yelled out, snatching the book, and opening it to the next entry. “Yo! Kiku! This one’s on you~”

“N-Nani?! Onigai, wait a moment!”

“HAHA! Nope~ It’s a good one, don’t worry! See? **Dear Diary, America-san asked me to say ‘election’ today… and burst out laughing when I did so… I do not understand what is so funny… Someone please explain?** ” Many in the room burst out laughing alongside America, as Japan looked rather confused and flustered. “Nani? I do not understand…?” Germany, taking pity on the Japanese nation, leaned down, and whispered something in Japan’s ear. Said nation quickly turned quite the interesting shade of red.

“Alright, dudes! Next~! Ah! My favorite Commie Bastard~”

“Capitalist Pig.”

“Haha! Still reading! **Dear Diary, I wish people would stop judging me due to my Soviet days. Don’t they get it? I suffered as well. And calling me a ‘monster’. Those were my boss’s decisions, not mine.** ” The room suddenly became very heavy.

“Don’t worry, Big Brother! I still love you!” Belarus yelled, causing Russia to shrink away.

“No! It’s okay! Go away!”

“You’re still a Commie Bastard… but… I’m sorry.” America forced out, startling the room.

“Come again?” Russia stated in shock. Surely he must’ve heard wrong. America apologizing? To _him_?

“You heard me. I said I’m _sorry_ , okay? There, I said it.” America turned away from the room, so he could say it easier. “We’ve all done things we didn’t want to do on our boss’s orders. I’m no exception. But let’s get one thing straight, I’m only apologizing for the stuff I said that relates to the things you did against your will, got it? You’re still a Commie Bastard!” America was obviously embarrassed, and apologizing to Russia of all people, was something that was visibly difficult for the Superpower Nation. But before America could turn back around to face Russia, he found himself enveloped in a hug.

“Ogromnoe spasibo, Америка.” Russia stated as he released a shell-shocked American from the hug, before smiling softly to himself and sitting down.

“Per’aps, I’ll read, Non?” France grabbed the book from America’s hands, and started the next entry. “Mon Cher, zis is Canada’s entry.”

“Who?” Many nations started asking. America grew somewhat angry that they forgot his twin so easily.

“Canada~ My Bro! You know, the guy above me? He’s standing right over there!” America pointed to a rather transparent Canadian holding a polar bear.

“I’ll just start reading. **Dear Diary, Why does it feel that sometimes, I’m just fading away? Most of the time, it feels like no-one notices me…** ”

“As proven by the events just 10 seconds prior…” Canada added aloud, surprising many nations, as they actually heard him this time.

“Sumimasen, Canada-san, for forgetting you. I must be getting old…”

“Me too, aru!”

“T-thank you. You remembered my name! I’m so happy~” Canada said with a big grin, shocking the room. How had such a simple gesture as remembering his name—something that should’ve been expected of all of them—made the silent nation so happy? The man was practically glowing with all the people staring _at_ him, not _through_ him, but _at_ him. They all silently vowed to pay more attention to their favorite Canadian. Especially Prussia.

“Let’s see ‘ere. Ah! Hungary, you’re next~”

“What?! It has _me_ in there?! But! But! What could _I_ have that could be of any interest to world peace?!”

“Well, we’ll never know if you don’t let Francy-pants read~” Prussia stated as he slid into the chair next to Hungary. Sensing a frying pan or fight brewing, France decided to quickly read.

“ **Dear Diary, Prussia came by for the first time since his dissolution. He said something stupid, like usual, and I hit him with my frying pan, like usual. He’s in the hospital right now, not at all like usual. It didn’t even cross my mind that he would be as fragile as a human. I hope he wakes up soon…** ”

“Aww, crap.” Prussia muttered under his breath. Hungary just _had_ to write that, didn’t she? He didn’t want anyone to know about his human-like body; that he was, indeed, as fragile as a human, now. Only Hungary and West knew this, and he wanted to keep it that way.

“Prussia…?” France asked, hesitantly. How could his long-time friend have kept such important information away from him?

“Prussia, you should’ve told us…” Spain added in, France’s thoughts mirrored in his mind.

“The Awesome Me doesn’t need people to worry about me. I’m Awesome, and I always _will_ be Awesome. That’s all there is to it.”

“Oui, but we will talk about zis later.”

“Fine.”

“Okay, next is… Ahonhonhon~”

“What is it, you bloody frog?!”

“It’s you, Angleterre~!”

“What?! Bloody Hell…”

“Let’s start, non? **Dear Diary, I have tried it, just ignoring the cruel words, pretending as if they aren’t everywhere… But bloody hell, I can not do anything, go anywhere without hearing some kind of comment about my cooking! Is that all anyone knows me for? Or do they just enjoy my frustration? What do they want? I can not be perfect, and I want nothing more than for people to leave my mistakes alone. I am a country, but I am likewise a human. I still feel the pain of verbal torment.** ”

“Iggy… Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Why? What good would it have done?”

“We didn’t know zat our comments hurt you, Mon Cher, we would’ve stopped if we’d known.”

“Yea, Iggy~ If it really buggs ya that much, we’ll stop harpin’ on your cooking, okay? I’ll even give you some lessons, if you want?”

“You would do that…? For me…?”

“Yea, dude! Of course I would!”

“Oui. I suppose I could try giving you some cooking lessons, as well, but only if someone else is zere, too. I don’t want us to get into one of our spats and somehow blow up my beautiful kitchen.”

England simply smiled. Who knew that simply telling them about how much it bothered him would help? Sure, they’d probably slip-up sometimes and make fun of his cooking skills—or lack thereof—again, but now he knew that they didn’t truly mean it.

“What’s the next entry?” England asked.

“Ah, Germany, again.”

“Mein Gott. Please get it over with…”

“ **Dear Diary, I keep hearing about this whole “bringing sexy back” thing… it’s a bit childish, really. However, I did hear something about brainy being the new sexy, and sometimes, I do feel as if I’m the only one with any sanity around here (especially with Prussia, but he doesn’t need to know that)…** ” There were many snickers and laughter throughout the entry. Even Germany himself chuckled a bit.

“Sorry, bruder. But you must admit, you are a bit… wild.”

“Ja, Ja. Vhatever you say, West.”

“My turn to read~!” Spain said, whipping the book out of France’s hands.

“‘ey! I wasn’t done with zat!”

“Fusososososososo~ My turn~” He looked at the next entry, and was surprised to find the passage familiar. “Oh, I’m next.”

“Yes, yes, we’ve got it. You’re reading next.” England was cut off by Spain.

“No, I mean, my passage is next. See? **Dear diary, I wish Romano could see how perfect he is to me. I love his foul language, how rude he can be, that one curl that he has in the front and many other things. But one thing that does bother me is the way he compares himself to his brother. If I wanted him to be like Italy, I would have just went after him. The thing that makes me love Romano so much is that he is so different. I just wish I could tell him all this…** ” well, looks like I got my wish, huh, Roma?” Spain finished. He had read the entire passage staring straight at Romano, who grew steadily redder with each passing sentence.

“Stupid Bastard. Fucking embarrassing me. Damnit.”

“Ah~ There’s the Lovi I love~”

“Just read the next passage, bastard.”

“Okay~ Ah~ France, this one’s you.”

“Moi?”

“Si. **Dear Diary, People keep saying that I’m a rapist. I don’t understand why they think this. I’m the country of love, not rape. There’s a difference. I know I flirt a lot and that I come off a little strong, but that’s not a reason to accuse me of such disgusting acts. I just want everyone to know they’re loved, even if they think I’m being creepy. Is that really such a bad thing?** ”

“No, dude, it’s not.” America stated; calm and serious for once.

“Papa… I admire you for spreading love. Though it’s true you come across a little strong at times, your intentions are admirable and pure.” Canada said, saddened by his papa’s low self-esteem.

“Yea, bloody frog. Though I have no interest in love, I wouldn’t call you a rapist, either. Such a disgusting term. And as much as I dislike you, I wouldn’t stoop that low.”

“Merci, mon ami.”

“I’ll read the next one. This one’s England’s. **Dear Diary, Do you know why I passed so many laws on America after the seven years war? It wasn’t because I was mad at him and it wasn’t because I wanted to infringe on his rights. He was just growing up too fast… and I didn’t want him to leave me.** ” China gave England a sympathetic, understanding look. He’d been through the same thing multiple times.

“Iggy…? Is that true? That’s why you passed all those laws and taxes?”

“Yes, America. It is.” America looked at England. What could he do to make him feel better? He wouldn’t change the past, he loved his freedom, but he needed to make England understand… He didn’t want to leave him to escape him, but to prove himself to him. He did the only thing he could think of; he pulled England into a hug.

“Alfred…?”

“Arthur. I didn’t want to hurt you when I left, but I needed to spread my wings and soar. When I became independent, I left _England_ … I didn’t leave _Arthur_.”

England searched America’s eyes. He found only truth. Everything that he’d thought he’d been imagining all these years, he found to be true. America, no, _Alfred_ really _did_ still care for him. Didn’t want to leave _him_ just his _rule_.

“Thank you.” England whispered, hugging America back tightly, hardly believing that they could patch things up. Could he still be that strong big brother? That father figure to America? Did he still have that chance?

“Ah, sorry, but can we continue?” Spain interrupted.

“Sure…” England said awkwardly, as America returned to his seat next to Arthur.

“This one is South Korea, again. **Dear Diary, I think Gege’s still sad about everyone leaving, even if it was so long ago. When I ask him about it and if he’s okay, he just smiles and lies about it. It really hurts to see him like that. I will never leave Gege’s side like everyone else and that’s a promise. I just don’t want him to be sad anymore.** ”

Yong Soo looked Yao in the eye, and nodded his head, confirming his words then with his thoughts now.

“This’ll be my last one before letting Romano read~”

“Hey?! Who the fuck said that I wanted to fucking read?!”

“Eh?! But Romano~ you love reading!”

“Sh-shut up, you fucking bastard…”

“This one’s China’s.” China winced. There weren’t many good things written in his diaries now-a-days. After 4,000 years of life, one’s thoughts tended to run a little darker than most. “ **Dear Diary, Sometimes I wonder if I should have shared my invention of gunpowder with the world. I wonder how many people I am responsible for ending the lives of…** ” The room stared at a rather quiet and bashful China. Surprisingly, or maybe not so, Japan was the first to react.

“Chuugoku-san. Did you pull the triggers?” China blinked at the unexpected question, but shook his head ‘no’. “Then you are not responsible. It would’ve been discovered one way or another. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Yea, and it’s not just used to kill, but to protect. For every life lost, there’s another saved.” America stepped in. After many, many assurances that China was not responsible for the deaths of countless people, Romano was handed the book.

“Damned Tomato Bastard. Why the fuck do I have to read?! Che. Whatever… The first one’s from… Awww, shit. It’s mine. FUCK! _This one?!_ ” Romano shouted to where the light orb once was. “Damn fucking assholes. FINE! D- **Dear diary, I’m still wondering what Spain sees in me. There’s nothing special about me. I’m rude, I’m lazy, I’m not artistic or good with trade like my brother. I’m the complete opposite of him! Feli is perfect, and I’m just his stupid older brother. What does that tomato eating idiot see in me?** ”

“Roma—” Whatever Spain was about to say was cut off by an open-eyed, and rather serious-looking Italy. He even looked almost angry.

“Fratello.” He stated, making Romano look at him. “You shouldn’t compare yourself to me. I’m me, and you’re you. That’s what makes you unique. There are many things that you can do, that I can’t. You’re much better with firearms than I’ll ever be, and… Roma, I don’t _want_ you to change. I love you the way you are, fratello, and so does Spain. I was blessed with the artistic talents, but you were blessed with the militaristic skills, whether or not you choose to use them; that’s up to you. I’ve never told you this, but I sometimes envy you… You could fight, if you wanted to… You could be strong… But you choose not to, because you know it could hurt me.”

“Roma…? What does he mean, it could hurt him?” Spain asked confused, he’d been nodding his head along with everything Italy had said, until he had reached the end.

“He means that we’re each one half of a whole country. It’s one of the main reasons we hate to fight. Any physical pain one of us feels, is carried over the link between us, and felt, in full, by the other. No matter the distance. I remember one time; I had been beaten up pretty good, put in the hospital and everything. Veneziano was also hospitalized, because the pain of my wounds was felt by him, and he needed the pain meds.”

“Si. When we fight alone, we’re only fighting with half of the power of our nation. But when we fight as one…” Italy explained, thinking of their Priest forms...

“I’ll start reading the next entry…” Romano continued, bringing the attention back to him. “This one’s Toni’s… **Dear Diary, I loved the days when I could go out and be a Matador and everyone would be excited and scream my name. Now, they call me an animal abuser. Should I stop participating in something that’s such a large part of my culture to make people happy?** ”

Spain rubbed the back of his head, before giving Romano a not-so-subtle hint to move on. Romano rolled his eyes, but went to the next entry.

“This one’s the Vodka Bastard’s.” Russia lifted his head, more alert. He really hoped that these diary entries of his would help people see that he only wanted to make friends.

“Here goes, **Dear Diary, Today China was telling a story about how I used to think he was my mother. I guess he thought he was embarrassing me for fun… but it really just made me sad. He never figured out that when I used to tell him I loved him, I didn’t mean it like he was my mom. He used to tell me he loved me too; did he mean it like I was his son, or was he just joking? It hurt, a lot. All this time, I thought he felt the same.** ”

Well, hello, heavy atmosphere, how’re the wife and kids?

China and Russia looked distinctly uncomfortable. Russia, because he was afraid that this would ruin any chance of a relationship with China, and China because he had never thought that the cold Russian would’ve reciprocated his feelings. He’d need to talk to him when they had a break, but for now, he walked over to the Russian man, leaned down—as Russia was still sitting—and whispered something into his ear. Russia’s expression changed from stormy-ish neutral, to sunny and happy instantly.

“Really?” He asked hesitantly, afraid that it was some sort of cruel joke.

“I wouldn’t lie to you.” China stated softly, smiling as Russia’s expression turned into one of pure bliss as China pecked Russia on the cheek. The other Asian nations shared a knowing look; they’d support China fully so long as he was happy; but if Russia ever did anything to hurt Yao…

Belarus, on the other hand was _not_ happy. Her beloved Big Brother loved _China?!_ How could this have happened?! How did she not know?! She could’ve already killed him by now, and wouldn’t be in danger of losing her precious love! She decided that she needed to take some drastic actions. If China was out of the picture, then surely Big Brother would see only her? Then they could finally become one! This _has_ to be the reason why Big Brother kept running away from her! He was brainwashed by China!

While Belarus was busy planning China’s demise, Romano read one last entry, seeing as it involved Russia again, and mentioned Belarus, he thought it was best to read it before said crazed nation (Belarus) returned to reality.

“ **Dear Diary, I am terrified of insanity. It horrifies me, it disgusts me, and I am glad I never was like that. I hope to never become like Mongolia or Belarus. That is why I keep my distance from them, yes, even from my own sister, Natalia.** ”

“I am thinking that someone else needs to be reading, now, Да?” Russia stated in a listen-to-me-because-I-am-Mother-Russia voice. Needless to say, Romano flung the book across the table as quickly as possible. It just-so-happened to land near Japan, who picked it up, and started reading the next entry.

“Ah, this one’s about America-san.” Alfred’s head shot up at his name. He knew that a lot of the stuff in his diar– _journal—_ because heroes didn’t keep _diaries_ —was rather… personal, and some of it downright depressing. His façade would be broken irreparably. Perhaps, though, there would be others whose facades would also be broken.

“It reads, **Dear diary, Today I realized that I only listen to my people on my birthday. Really listen, not just feel anyway. It’s the only day where the things they say aren’t hurtful enough to break me down.** ”

“Alfred…” England pulled him into a hug, as the American remained stony-faced for a few more seconds. Alfred then pulled away, a large grin on his face, and gave a laugh. “Dude! I’m _fine!_ Really~! This is all old junk, anyhow~! I’m strong, I can deal with it!”

“You idiot,” England said, pulling him back into a gentle embrace, “You’re not supposed to have to ‘deal with it’. Not alone.”

“Yea, I’m here for you, too, bro.” Canada spoke up, though only America and Prussia saw/heard him. Poor guy… Japan, sensing the mood, which had now begun to get awkward, started the next entry.

“The next is Romano-san’s”

“AGAIN?! Why the fuck are there so many of mine?!”

“Roma~ Come on, I’ll pick fresh tomatoes tomorrow with you~”

“You’d do that anyways… stupid bastard…”

“ **Dear diary, Ever since I got my independence, I feel so lonely, and sometimes, when I’m sad I find myself listening to “Non c´è/Se fue” by Laura Pausini thinking of Antonio, I miss him. Even nowadays I listen to it if I haven’t seen him in awhile or if we have a fight… If only he knew… no, he shall never know… I wouldn’t be able to tell him…** ”

“Aww, shit.” Romano muttered under his breath. Why did _that_ entry have to show up?!

Spain, on the other hand, was thrilled. Could Romano _like him back?!_ Was it really _possible_?! It was like a dream~! He hugged Romano closer, making the Italian blush hard, but he didn’t protest.

“We’ll talk later, si?” Spain whispered in his ear, receiving a nod from Romano.

“Let’s continue~!”

“Hai. The next entry is by Prussia-san. **Dear diary, Honestly, I don’t know what I would do without Francis and Toni; they’re my best friends. But sometimes I think that they’ll forget about me and just… leave. …It’s happened before.** ”

“OKAY, NEXT!” Prussia yelled out, obviously not wanting to talk about this right now. Spain and France shared a glance, silently promising to never leave Prussia out of anything again, and never forget him—even when drunk.

“The next entry is by Itary-kun.”

“Ve?” He had a bad feeling about this one; it was a personal one, he could tell. His instincts had always been spot-on. He didn’t want anyone to know. His mask would shatter into a million pieces and be beyond repair. Would Germany and Japan still like him even if they knew that their Italy was just a façade? He didn’t want to acknowledge the sadness that’d been steadily growing since Holy Rome’s death. He didn’t want to face it. But he had a feeling that this next entry would start the process of removing his carefully constructed mask.

“Gomen. **Dear Diary, I really wish people would think of me as something more than a happy-go-lucky goofball. I can be serious when the time calls for it. Also, I wish people wouldn’t treat me like an idiot. I really am smart. I took an IQ test and got a score of 132. But sadly, I bet if I showed that to someone, they wouldn’t believe it. Even Germany wouldn’t believe me. Maybe acting the way I have been to make friends wasn’t the best idea after all…** ”

Everyone stared at Italy in shock. For once, the Italian wasn’t smiling his usual smile, but a rather sad one.

Germany couldn’t believe it. Italy, _Italy_ had a IQ of 132?! That was… Borderline genius! How had he not noticed?! (And why would someone with such a high IQ purposefully—as it must’ve been—throw a grenade the wrong way?) Did Italy really think that he wouldn’t have believed him?

Japan, on the other hand was also in a state of internal shock. Italy-kun, his good friend, had been acting like a goofball idiot for centuries to _make friends_. He hid his intelligence so that he could fit in better. But it ended up backfiring on him. He should’ve been able to put the pieces together; he had, after all, always suspected that Italy was smarter than he let on, but to have such a high IQ?

Romano, while aware that his brother’s bubbly personality was merely a mask to hide his pain, and the overenthusiastic personality was to make friends, had no clue that his brother’s IQ was so high. Did he really think that he wouldn’t have believed him if he’d shown him his score? Was he really that bad of a big brother…?

“Italien.” Germany stated at last. “You don’t need to pretend anymore, Ja? We’re friends. Period. Always. You don’t need to hide your intelligence any more, but mein, Gott! That’s a high score.” He gave Italy a rare smile (as did Japan behind him).

“Hai, Itary-kun. Perhaps you could help me with some of my inventions some time?”

“Yea~ Sounds fun!” Italy cried out in relief. He was still accepted, IQ and all. It would take a little while to get used to the idea of being able to be himself, but he was sure he’d manage somehow. _Now if the diary entries only shy away from the topic of Holy Rome, I’ll be fine._ He thought to himself.

“The next one is Romano-san’s.”

“FUCK! ME AGAIN?! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!”

“Ah, Sumimasen.”

“Whatever. Just get this fucking shit over with, already, damnit.”

“Hai. **Dear Diary, Something terrible has happened. I don’t know how, when or why, but… somehow I’ve fallen in love with Antonio. This is terrible! He raised me and that’s so screwed up! I should love him like my dad! I’m such a pervert. Plus, he’s a man and I’m Catholic and this is all so very wrong! I’m going straight to Hell!** ”

Silence. Spain stared at Romano in shock. _Did Roma just… confess his love for me?_

“Roma…?”

“Yes, okay?! I FUCKING LOVE YOU, ANTONIO! There! I said it! I’ve loved you for _ages_ , now, and I’m going straight to fucking Hell for it!”

“Romano… I love you too.” Romano stopped his ramblings.

“Wh…at?” Surely he heard wrong. Sure, he knew that Antonio loved him, but he loved him as a son, right? Not… not like _he_ loved _him_.

“I said, I love you, Romano. Would you please go out with me?” Romano thought that there should’ve been some sort of cheesy music playing or something. He was so shocked. He felt like slapping himself. Had Toni really loved him back? How long had he, Romano, sat at home, alone, and cried himself to sleep because he thought he could never have the love of his life, when all he had had to do, was simply say three simple words? He realized belatedly that Spain was still awaiting an answer, as was most of the room (Somehow Hungary and Japan had pulled out cameras…).

“Si. I love you, Antonio.”

Spain looked overjoyed. Italy smiled at his fratello. _At least one of us got a happy ending… I’m still waiting for mine._

“Ehem… Perhaps we should read a few more before we take a break?” Germany supplies, thoroughly ruining the happy moment, but the new couple didn’t care (though evidently, Japan and Hungary did, as they each sent him an annoyed glare). Spain knew, though, that he’d have a hard time convincing Romano that he didn’t deserve to go to Hell for loving a man.

“Hai. The next one is you, Doitsu-san.”

“Great. Fine, just read it.”

“ **Dear Diary, While I seem angry when the other nations make jokes about me, whether it be my own personality or my history, I don’t actually want them to stop. I just wish I could laugh along with them and not have to seem like I take it so personally. But I am stuck in my ways, I suppose. I am just glad they still think of me, to be honest.** ”

“Well, if you really want us to continue making fun you…” Prussia trails off with a smirk.

Verdamnt. He should never have put that in there! Now they’ll _never_ leave him alone.

“Alright, next is China-san.”

“Me again, aru?”

“Gomen. **Dear Diary, Every time I look back at the past 5,000 years I cannot help but feel how much the world has changed. It feels like all those years have been a blur, as if time has been moving too fast. I can remember it clearly, the day when my**...” Japan stopped himself there. Looking at China with well-hidden horror. But China knew this entry well, and nodded his head solemnly. Japan started up again. “ **when my little brother betrayed me. And as of lately, it seems as if most of my “family” seems to hate me as well. It is at times like these when I wish that I could return to the peaceful days…** ” Japan trailed off with the passage. He knew he’d done something unforgivable that day, yet somehow China didn’t look at him with disgust or hatred, just brotherly love. How had it come to this? How long had this been weighing down on his aniki? Aniki… How long had it been since he’d called him that, even in his own thoughts? Too long… Far, too long.

“Chuugo—” Japan cut himself off, before starting again. “Aniki.” That one word made China’s head whip up so fast, that he thought he’d break his neck.

“What did you just call me…?” He asked in near-silent disbelief. How long had it been since Kiku had called him that? How many years, decades, _centuries_ had his heart and soul ached with longing to hear his precious dìdì call him by that beloved name again?

“Aniki. Sumimasen. Hontoni, Sumimasen.” Japan then stood up, placing the book on the table, and gently led China to another room to speak in private.

It was unanimously decided, then, that a break was in order.


	3. Mending Relations

Upon returning from the break, Japan and China seemed to be more comfortable in each other’s presence than any of the nations could remember seeing them. It was as if some invisible weight had been lifted from them both. Especially China; he looked centuries younger.

Spain and Romano looked rather happy, with Romano sitting in Spain’s lap, a pout on his slightly swollen lips, but anyone could tell how happy he was to be sitting there.

Taiwan picked up the book. “I’ll start, this time.” She glanced at the next entry, and burst out laughing. She was laughing so hard, that tears started streaming down her bright red cheeks, and the others started to become concerned over her lack of ability to breathe. After a few minutes, she managed to gain enough control of herself to hand the book the only Asian nation she knew that could keep himself under control while reading this—Hong Kong.

Hong Kong didn’t usually show emotion. He wasn’t one to show his feelings easily, but when he read the entry, a wicked smirk spread across his face, as he chuckled a bit. Of course, this shocked/scared the hell out of many nations (particularly the Asian ones).

“It’s about you, Kiku.” He stated in his regular monotone voice, but those who knew him well could hear the undertone of the laughter he was holding back. “Don’t worry, it’s short. **Dear diary, I’m not kawaii. I’m manly as fuck.** ”

“WHAT, ARU?!” China gasped out between laughter. In fact, most of the room broke down in uncontrollable laughter. Who knew Japan could be this forward? Switzerland smirked while holding back chuckles. Now if only Japan would speak up like this when around others…

Poor Japan was quite red. _Ah, perhaps I shouldn’t have been so bold? But… I never expected anyone to read my entries, so I felt no need to be polite._

After many minutes of laughter and relapses, Hong Kong moved on to the next entry. “It’s America’s… **Dear diary, Sometimes I wonder what Canada would do if I told him he once had a little brother? I wonder what Canada would have thought about him. They seem very similar, sometimes so much so it hurts. I know it’s too late, but all I can say now is that I am sorry, Canada, for killing a brother you never knew, and I am sorry Confederacy, for making sure you’d never meet him.** ”

“Alfred…?” Canada asked. He was afraid. Sure he understood that if he hadn’t done what he did, that Alfred would be the dead one now, but… He’d never known about the Confederate States having a personification. How hard must it have been for Alfred to kill his own little brother? And to have lived with the guilt for all these years without telling anybody?

“I’m so sorry, Matthew.” There it was. _Matthew._ Alfred only ever called him by his full name when he was truly in need of something. And for once, Canada knew exactly what to say.

“I don’t blame you, Alfred. It was you or him. I’m glad it wasn’t you.”

“Really? I know I’m not the best big brother, but…”

“Al, come on, you know I love you. You’re my _twin_! I’ll always be there for you when you need it.”

“Thanks, Mattie. Best not let Prussia hear you say that, though, He might get jealous.” America finished in a whisper and a wink, leaving a very visible, very red Canadian.

“America…” England sighed sadly. He never wanted Alfred to know of the pain of having to kill another nation. But for it to be his own brother? He couldn’t imagine having to kill his own brother in the midst of a civil war _that_ young. His heart went out to his former colony.

The other nations just stared sadly at the American. Many had fought civil wars before, but none of them had personified. Just how close had the Confederacy come to winning if it had its own personification? And then America had had to kill his own _brother_ … Maybe they didn’t give the American enough credit… Perhaps he was more than he let on?

“Okay~ Next!” America called out, ready to continue, and _tired_ of people _staring_ at him.

“Next is Russia. **Dear Diary, I want the winter to end and the snow to melt already. I miss feeling the warmth.** ”

“Next one, please…” Russia stated. He didn’t want to be reminded of the long… so long winter raging inside his soul. The loneliness that would never truly melt away. He snuggled a little closer to China.

“Next is Switzerland.”

“What?!” Said nation cried out in shock. _He_ was in this?! But he’s neutral! He should have no part of this!

“ **Dear Diary, I miss being with Germany, Prussia, and Austria. We are all siblings yet we have almost never seen another since we were kids. I miss them.** ”

Great. It couldn’t have been one of the hundreds of thousands of entries that ranted on and on about how annoying Prussia was, or how stingy Austria was? It _had_ to be _this_ one. The _one_ and _only_ entry in his diary that showed his true feelings. _Joy._ So much for remaining neutral.

“Vell, if you missed us zat much, you could’ve just come to visit.” Austria stated as nonchalantly as he could. In truth, he missed his brothers, too. When he saw Italy and Romano, or America and Canada, or even Germany and Prussia, he was always reminded of how his brothers are never there for him. Never around. Sure, Prussia comes around to annoy him every now and then, but he never just came for a civil visit, or to ask how he was doing, or to just _talk_. He wanted those close brotherly bonds, but didn’t know how to achieve them. It would appear, that he wasn’t the only one whose thoughts ran this track.

“I might take you up on that…” Switzerland carefully replied.

“The next entry is Prussia’s.”

“Ze Awesome Me is so Awesome that my Awesomeness is Awesomely shown often! I AM AWESOME!” The room ignored his outburst.

“ **Dear Diary, I will never tell him this, but sometimes I go to bother Austria just so I can listen to him play the piano.** ”

“That entry wasn’t quite so awesome…”

Austria, for one, was pleasantly surprised. So his brother actually enjoyed hearing him play? Perhaps he’d invite him over a little more often to hear him, if he agreed not to be _too_ annoying…

“My turn to read~” Taiwan snatched the book back from Hong Kong, and started the next entry. “Ah! It’s Hungary~ **Dear Diary, Everyone expects me to pick between them. But I can’t! No one really understands…** ”

“You know, Mon Cher~ Zere _is_ such a zing as a threesome~” France supplies. Hungary grew red at the implications. A threesome between her, Prussia and Austria?! A threesome… She’d get them both, and… She’d also have unlimited yaoi whenever she wanted! Perhaps France wasn’t that bad, after all…

The other nations watched as France whispered something in Hungary’s ear, and she grew beet-red. They could practically _see_ the steam emitting from her ears, as a thin trail of blood leaked from her nose.

 _Yaoi_ was the general opinion of the room. They decided to just let her be for the moment.

“Hehe~ Next is America~ **Dear Diary, I don’t understand why my people are still fighting about “gay rights” at every turn of the corner. I would have hoped that they, of all people, would know that there are no “gay” rights or “minority” rights or anything of the sort anymore, just basic human rights. I wonder what they would think if they knew that I’ve experimented quite a bit.** ”

“Ahonhonhonhon~ Alfred~ Mon Cher~ Per’aps you and I could–”

“NO! I’m good, France. That’d be weird, since I think of you as a sort of step-father.”

“Alfred! What did you mean by… by…” England grew very red.

“Ah, Angleterre~ I zought you’d know! What it means is—” Alfred clapped his hand over France’s mouth.

“Next one, please!” Taiwan quickly complied, not wanting to be scarred for life by France’s descriptions.

“Alright~ This one’s another Romano!”

“FUCK!”

“ **Dear Diary, I don’t know where people get the idea that Spain’s a morning person. If either of us is the morning person, it’s me. Don’t look at me like that! It’s true! I haven’t dealt with stupidity yet when I first wake up, so I’m in the best mood I am all day. Spain on the other hand… well there’s a reason “The sun never sets on the Spanish Empire;” It’s afraid to. When it comes back up, the bastard’s out for blood. Just saying.** ”

“Ah~ Lovi! I always wondered why you liked getting up early~!”

“Shut up, bastard! You’d better not get any ideas…” Romano gave Spain a sidelong glare, as if daring him to try getting up early and encroaching on his ‘me time’. “Next!” He quickly yelled, not wanting Spain to answer with something overly stupid… Yet.

“Okay~ England’s up next~!”

“Bloody hell…”

“ **Dear Diary, D-Don’t go telling anyone!! But… the Frog is more of an older brother to me than the others…** ”

“Damnit.”

“Angleterre? Is it true? You really zink of me as an older brozer?” France was truly shocked. He thought England hated/barely tolerated him. At most, he thought they had a shaky acquaintanceship, or messed-up friendship. But… Has he really thought of him as an older brother all this time…?

Scotland, on the other hand was somewhat crushed. His little brother thought of _France_ of all people, as his older brother? Perhaps he should’ve been there more for him, but… It still hurt. He wished that England could know that he still loved him as a little brother. But perhaps he was always destined to be that ‘mean older brother’, the one that always bullied England.

“Next is… Italy… This one seems sad…”

Sad? Italy’s diary entry was _sad?! What the fuck?!_ Was the general thought train of the room.

“What makes you say that? You haven’t even read it yet!” South Korea said, trying to lighten the mood.

“Because I always draw pictures to go with each entry.” Italy answered softly.

“ **Dear Diary, The Allies tortured me after WWII. I tried calling for help from the Axis Powers, but they fell and passed out. Nothing helped me out except for the remaining strength I had left to defend myself. It sure was painful…** ”

“YOU _VHAT?!_ ” Germany yelled in shock and anger, Romano echoing him in words and tone, and—shockingly enough—Japan also jumped to his feet, hand on his katana, ready to draw it. He looked pissed. Italy was at a loss for words. He never told them that he’d been tortured, none of them were in any condition to help him at the time, so he never bothered to tell them after the fact, knowing that they’d just beat themselves up afterwards. But to know they cared like this… it was nice.

America glared at the other Allies. He hadn’t known about it, having been a part of the relief effort after the war, and fixing things up at home, even England was shocked. It seemed, that the only member of the Allies that _wasn’t_ shocked, was Russia.

“Please… Don’t blame them.” Italy stated, drawing attention to himself again. “It wasn’t their faults. It was on their bosses’ orders. They couldn’t defy them… Can we please move on to the next entry…?” He asked, begging them. Everyone felt a little tug at their heartstrings. To see the normally happy Italian so quiet and subdued was just… _wrong._

With a sad nod, Taiwan flipped the page to the next entry, as Italy pulled Germany and Japan back to their seats (Spain pulled Romano back onto his lap).

“Canada’s entry is next. **Dear diary, England offered to take me out to lunch today, and it was a lot of fun! It wasn’t political or anything, and he didn’t call me “America” once! I wish things could be like this more…** ”

“Ah~! I remember that day!” England said, quite glad to have been mentioned in a good light, for once.

“Mmm” Canada hummed, also remembering the happy day.

“Another Canada one,” Taiwan stated, as she started the next entry. “ **Dear Diary, Arthur told papa that he could either have me or the Caribbean Islands. I thought he’d choose me, but he chose them instead. He told Arthur I was “worthless”. I am not, and I will prove that to him. I will be strong and kind. I will never forget his words. I thought he loved me. I was apparently wrong.** ”

France paled rapidly. He heard that?! It was merely the drunken ramblings of a father who was forced to choose between his children! He’d been drowning in grief and alcohol! He’d never actually _meant_ it! But… No wonder Canada always felt somewhat colder towards him. He needed to rectify this mistake immediately!

Canada was surprised to see France come over to him with a serious and solemn expression. Canada looked up, startled. He bent down and whispered something into Canada’s ear, and gently led him to a secluded corner of the room.

While the two of them had some long-overdue father-son bonding time, Taiwan started the next entry.

“Prussia. **Dear Diary, Today was awesome, but I caught myself speaking Old Prussian. I thought I had forgotten about that time. I wonder if Latvia or Lithuania forgot I was their brother? The time before Germania adopted me is blurry.** ”

“Vait, you vere adopted?!” Germany shouted out in surprise.

“Ja, Ja.” Prussia waived it off, not wanting to think about the sadder times in his life.

“You were a Baltic state?!” Someone else shouted out in shock, but Prussia was concentrating on the expressions of Latvia, Estonia, and Lithuania—his three brothers.

Lithuania couldn’t really remember Prussia from his childhood, but he _did_ recall another brother. The memories were blurry at best, but he _knew_ he was there. Latvia was in a similar situation to Lithuania. Estonia was just shocked that he was related to the boisterous Prussian.

“I think… I remember you…?” Lithuania stated.

“Yea, I remember an older brother, but I can’t recall what he looked like or sounded like… It was so long ago… I just know he made me feel safe.” Latvia stated, rambling as usual off the top of his head.

“Danke.” Prussia stated with a small smile. It was nice to know he wasn’t completely forgotten. Truth be told, he remembered a bit more of his time before Germania since then, but that didn’t matter now. He wasn’t even a nation anymore, so why bother to remember the past? Especially when he would soon… He shook his head rapidly. No! He wouldn’t think about that! He was here, _now_ , damnit! And he’d live in the present! What ifs are Unawesome!

“Last one for me.” Taiwan said, obviously tired from speaking over people. “It’s another Italy entry. **Dear diary, I finally realized my purpose in life. I am the comic relief for everyone. I make them smile and laugh when they’re upset. I don’t mind being a punching bag. As long as the others are happy, I’m happy too… Right?** ”

“Fucking _idiot!_ For someone with such a high IQ, you’d think you’d be a little _less_ of a moron!” Romano yelled at him, disturbed that his fratellino would be okay with being someone’s punching bag, or simply believe that his only purpose in life was to be the comic relief. That kind of thinking could easily tip over to questions like “What’s my purpose in living?” and “Why do I stay here when there’s no place for me?”. He didn’t want a suicidal Veneziano again, than you very much. He’d dealt with that once before. It wasn’t fun.

“Ve?”

“Italien…” Germany started, also rather disturbed by the entry. “You are more zan just ze comic relief. You brighten everyone’s day, und help out vhenever someone needs you. You’re a _fantastic_ chef, und a vonderful friend.” Germany was rather red by the end of his mini-speech.

“Hai. Itary-kun, you are one of my closest friends. I very much dislike seeing you so sad…” Japan stated, wanting to help Italy see that he was much more than simple ‘comic relief”.

Italy just nodded his head with them, not really believing their words, but instead just trying to satisfy everyone. Romano gave him a knowing glare, telling him that he knew exactly what Italy was doing, and vowed to himself to make sure to get the message through his fratellino’s thick skull.

China took the book from Taiwan with a smile. “My turn, aru~! Oh! My entry is up first. **Dear diary, I have enough Chinatowns to take over the world, I’m just waiting for my panda army.** ”

“AH HA!” America shouted, jumping to his feet, startling the nearby nations. “I KNEW IT! You’re using your Chinatowns to take over the _world_!! I _KNEW_ IT!”

Laughter spread throughout the room. America didn’t _actually_ mean what he was saying, but he thought that the room needed a laugh. As usual, it was at his expense. He really hated to be the center of attention all the time, though, but he’d rather make himself out to be the dunce and scapegoat for the world than someone else. He understood Italy’s entry well…

“Ah, another Romano one.”

“Someone fucking shoot me.”

“ **Dear Diary, I’m not as angry and sullen as everyone thinks. I act that way to draw attention to myself, because it’s the only way I can get noticed when Veneziano’s around.** ”

“Ve?! Do you really think that, fratello?”

“Fucking diary. I’ll burn you when I get home…”

“Roma?”

“Fine! Yes, I think that, okay?! Happy, now?!”

“No. But it’s just another thing we need to work on together, si?” Spain asked, holding Romano a little closer to him.

“Si.”

“Okay, aru~! Another Prussia entry. This one’s short. **Dear Diary, I’m not afraid of dying or fading away. All I’m afraid of is being forgotten.** ”

“Bruder…” Germany sighed, pinching his nose.

“Not awesome.”

“Mon Cher, we will _never_ forget you, oui? It’s a promise~!” France declared. He’d come back with Canada a few entries ago. Both looked much more comfortable in each other’s presence.

“Si! I, too, promise to never forget you, okay? Besides, it’s not like you’re going anywhere!” Spain stated cheerily. Prussia nodded his head with a large grin on his face. He barely held back a wince at Spain’s last sentence. What would they say if they knew…?

“This one’s Opium, aru~!”

“Who?” Someone asked.

“I’m Cana—oh… you weren’t talking to me…” Canada said, embarrassed. The nations stared. Did he always respond like this when someone asked ‘who’? If so, then they had a _lot_ of work ahead of them to get his confidence back up… And to get them to stop forgetting him.

“He means England!” France stated, knowing full well how much England disliked being called Opium.

“Oh.”

“ **Dear Diary, Today I found out that I have a different father from my brothers. Germania is my father. I don’t know what to do! If I tell my brothers they would surely hate me… I can’t tell them EVER!** ”

“WHAT?!” England’s brothers shouted in shock, alongside the Germanic nations.

“Bloody Hell…” England muttered, sinking down into his seat. This is why he didn’t want anyone to know! The Germanic nations would feel obligated to spend time with him or something, and his brothers would _surely_ hate him… well, hate him _more_ …

“Do you really think we’d hate you over something like that?! You’re our brother! Period! It doesn’t matter who your father was!” Scotland yelled out, frustrated at his brother’s thoughts.

“Ja. Und I always wondered why you looked so similar to me und the other Germanic nations. Now we know.” Germany stated.

“Kesesese! Vati was busy, wasn’t he?” Prussia commented, snickering like a middle school kid.

“You… don’t hate me…?” England blinked at his brothers.

“No… We could _never_ hate you. Not over something like this. You’re our _brother_. Theirs too, apparently, but ours first. We just have a bit of an extended messed-up family, that’s all!” Northern Ireland said with a grin.

“But…” England was cut off again by Prussia.

“Ja! Welcome to the family of Awesome! You are privileged to be related to the Awesomeness that is the Awesome Prussia!”

“Y-you don’t have to spend time with me. Just because we’re related doesn’t mean you’re obligated to… I don’t want your pity or guilt or anything of the sort!” England demanded.

“Vas?! Why would we pity you?! You’re related to the AWESOME PRUSSIA!” Prussia said, pointing to himself.

“Ja, ja. Und more importantly, you are family. We have no obligations to spend time with you, we _want_ to get to know you as a bruder rather than just another nation.” Germany said.

“Well… Umm… Right. Let’s continue, shall we?” England asked, quite flustered and embarrassed.

“Okay, aru. Another Romano.”

“Fuck. My. Life.”

“Ve~ Romano, don’t think that way~ I love reading your diary entries! It just makes me feel prouder of my Fratello~”

Romano shifted uncomfortably on Spain’s lap. Did he really hear that right? Was Veneziano really… _proud_ of him? Nah, couldn’t be. What was there to be proud of? _Especially_ with all his fucking insecurities being read aloud. He felt like every other entry was _his_ , damnit!

“ **Dear diary, All I want is for Veneziano to be proud of his big brother.** ”

Italy opened his eyes again, staring straight at his fratello. With calm, purposeful steps, he stood before his older brother and placed a loving hand on top of his head. “Romano.” Jungle green eyes—darker than a forest, but deeper than a gem—met molten gold. “I’m proud of you. I’ve always looked up to you, fratello.”

He would’ve accused him of lying, if he hadn’t been staring into his eyes. He could tell—Veneziano was telling the truth. His ability didn’t detect a lie. He’d know if he was being lied to… But what was there for him to be proud of? To look up to? He didn’t get it! He wasn’t sure if he ever would… but he had Spain—as a boyfriend, nonetheless—and his beloved fratellino was _proud_ of him. Perhaps these diary entries really aren’t such a bad thing…

After Italy returned to his seat, China continued. “Another Italy one. **Dear diary, Today we all played monopoly together. It was really fun! But I think America and China took it a little too seriously.** ”

The room burst out in much needed laughter and chuckling. A few snickers could be heard here and there, too. America and China met in a stare-down across the table. A few people laid down some bets on who would win.

Italy and Romano bet immediately on America, as did Canada. It was almost as if they knew who’d win. After a few minutes, China blinked. The Asian nations stared. Nobody had beaten China in a stare-down before.

“You got nothin’ on my stare-down opponents back home.” America smirked.

“Bloody American. Use proper English. Butchering the Queen’s language…” England murmured to himself.

After everyone calmed down and the money was exchanged, China moved on to the next entry, the smiles in the room still playing on the lips of their owners.

“Another Italy, aru. **Dear diary, Today I played with a piece of paper, then I wrote my wish… and I turned it into a plane so it can fly above and reach GOD, and he’ll finally grant it…** ”

Italy’s smile had slipped off his face from the first few words. He recognized this passage. His wish was never granted. Then again, it was a foolish hope… The dead can’t come back to life, after all. But is one day simply too much to ask? A foolish hope… One that he still clung onto with all his being.

“Italien?” Germany looked at his friend concerned. He could see that the Italian was deeply troubled by this simple passage. But why? What wish had he made that was so important?

Japan was also concerned for Italy. The little Italian’s aura had changed so drastically during the first few words of the entry, that Japan nearly got whiplash when he turned his head to stare in shock at his friend. His aura was so… pained. So deeply sad and depressed. It was such a 180 from his usual personality, that it scared the Japanese man to the core.

“I’m fine, Germany. Can we continue?” Italy asked in a small voice. Nobody missed the undertone of sorrow, but only Romano, France, Prussia, Hungary, and Austria knew why it was there… And what this wish of his pertained to. No one had the heart to argue with the little Italian, despite the blatant lie, so China moved on to the next entry.

“Norway, yours is next. **Dear diary, Iceland forgot Puffin at my home today… The thing just keeps looking at me. I don’t know what to do with it… Help.....** ”

Iceland chuckled quietly as the rest of the room laughed at Norway’s expense. “All you had to do was feed him.” Iceland finally stated through his chuckles.

“Thanks. I’ll remember that when you leave him at my place again. The thing bit my finger, too.” He grumbled, causing the chuckling to increase.

“Another Canada, aru! **Dear Diary, Today so many people ignored me. So I went out crying… But when I went to a place to go cry alone… Arthur was there to help me not cry. It was the first time in ages since he’s noticed me. I wish he could notice me from now on…** ”

“Thanks for that, Arthur.” Canada said happily to England.

England simply smiled slightly. “Sorry about that ‘old chap. I shouldn’t have been ignoring you for such a long time. Forgive me?”

Canada nodded his head. He’d forgive England… England made an effort to remember him, even when it was obviously hard for him. America never forgot him in the first place. Some might think it’s rude of him to pretend to forget him and call him a ghost during meetings and stuff, but the truth is that it’s just his way of trying to get others to notice Canada’s presence. He really _is_ a good brother—they’re really not sure which is older, but based of maturity, they’d guess Canada, but America was always the one taking care of him, and looking out for him, so between the two of them, they agreed that America was the older.

“The next entry is… Umm… Huh, this isn’t a diary entry, as much as it is a short sentence of information, aru. Ah! There’s a note in here… Let’s see, _Dear Nations. There are some non-diary entries in this book. These are our—the ancients—observations on specific nations. Please also read these aloud._ Huh… Okay, then. Here goes. **America’s favorite Disney movie is Pocahontas because she reminds him so much of Native America.** ”

“It’s true.” Alfred stated with a melancholy smile, matching Canada’s perfectly. “She and my mother could’ve been long-lost sisters or something.”

“What’s next?” Canada asked suddenly, startling the room, as he was actually becoming more noticeable.

“Prussia’s next, aru. Then someone else is reading, aru! **Dear diary, There are rumors that the Allies will dissolve Germany. I won’t let them kill my brother, even if I must die…** ”

Nobody knew quite how to respond to that. Germany gave his brother a hard look. He didn’t want his bruder to die. He didn’t, thank Gott, but he came so close… _Too_ close…

Prussia gingerly took the book from China and continued on. “France is next. **Dear diary, I still can’t forgive myself for what happened to Jeanne, I try and hide my pain with a smile, but it’s still there. Everyone thinks I hate and blame England for her death, but… I could never bring myself to hate him…. I only hate myself.** ”

“Bloody Frog…” England muttered to himself. He knew France better than anyone else; they did spend 99% of the time fighting, so they got to know each other quite well. He’d always had the feeling that France was blaming himself for Jeanne… In all honesty, England wanted nothing more than to punch France in the balls for being such an absolute idiot. France shouldn’t blame himself for it! He should blame _him!_ _He’s_ the one who’s really at fault here, not France! The entry only served to make England feel guiltier, and he promised himself that he’d talk to France about this in depth next break.

“Russia’s next. **Dear diary, today I got lost outside in the woods. I tried to call out for somebody, but then I remembered… There is no one. I was out there all alone; always alone. Will it be like this forever?** ”

“No, aru.” China stated, as he snuggled closer to his new boyfriend. Russia let a gentle smile cross his face, as he held the precious Chinese man on his lap closer.

“Ah! Ita~ **Dear Diary, Why does everyone think I’m stupid? I’m an artist and artists need to see and know a lot. Just because I’m always smiling and trying to be happy doesn’t make me an idiot.** ”

Again, Italy’s face was dusted a light pink with embarrassment, but perhaps there was a bit of frustration in there too. Feeling that this issue was already covered in earlier discussions, however, Italy simply gestured for the reading to continue.

“Right; China’s next.” Prussia stated. The room seemed to instantly become somber. China’s entries tended to be rather heavy, after all, so they were quite surprised to find a wicked smirk on Prussia’s face as he tried to hold back his laughter. “ **Dear diary, I hope Korea Gangnam Styles off a cliff.** ” The entire room burst into much-needed laughter.

“ _WHY_ , DA ZE?!” Korea asked, overly dramatic.

“Do you _know_ how annoying it is when you Gangnam Style all over the _house_ , aru?! _Every day_, aru?! I was ready to shoot myself, aru!”

By this point, the whole room was laughing hysterically. It wasn’t because it was _that_ funny, but rather because everyone needed the laugh—the break from the heavy atmosphere.

“Okay, okay, quiet down, the Awesome Me is speaking again!” Prussia called after a few minutes of laughter and chuckling. The room reluctantly quieted down once more to continue the reading, but the atmosphere was noticeably lighter, though still rather tense. “The next one is England. It reads, **Dear Diary, I know it’s selfish of me, but the reason I don’t recognize Sealand as his own country is because I want to keep him with me as long as possible before he tries to become independent like America did.** ”

“That’s why…?” Sealand asked himself quietly. England didn’t recognize him as a country… because he didn’t want him to leave? To grow up?

“When did you get in here?!” England cried out in surprise, pointing at Sealand. The nations jumped. When _had_ he arrived?

“I’ve been here the whole time.” He stated with a shrug.

England sighed. He didn’t want his insecurities shoved out there for the world to see, but… Maybe now, Sealand wouldn’t hate him as much. Perhaps they could finally bond as brothers? Or even father and son?

“Oh, it’s another one of those non-diary entries. It seems to be about Italy…? There’s two. I’ll read the shorter one first. **He’s so weak because losing HRE took all the strength he had left…** ”

Italy shrunk in his seat a bit. Why had it brought up Holy Rome? _Why?!_ He didn’t need to be reminded of his failure… It was all his fault, anyways. He should’ve gone with him! Done _something!_ He hated being so weak… So helpless…

“I’ll read the other one now…” Prussia said, hoping to get the hard stuff out of the way before anyone started trying to talk to Italy about it, ignoring the mutterings of “What/who is HRE?” Surprisingly enough, most nations didn’t make the connection between HRE and Holy Roman Empire. “It’s a long one, **Feliciano loves to be around so many people at once since it makes him feel secure and loved. Although he won’t admit it, he has a severe case of monophobia along with his older brother, Lovino. He has to be happy. He _needs_ to be happy. Or he’ll just break down and scream out all of the buried emotions he’s kept bottled up for centuries. **

**“When he was younger, Feli felt as if his heart was going to burst from everything he was losing. Grandpa Rome had disappeared. He was separated from his fratello. Holy Roman Empire, his first love, had kissed him and just left without ever coming back.**

**“Feliciano stayed up all night for years in hopes that HRE would step through that front door, a smile on his face, and say, “I’m home, Italy.”** ”

By the end of it, Italy was silently bawling his eyes out, curled up in a tight little ball in his chair, and shaking hard. Nobody quite knew what to think. How long had Italy been holding in all this pain? This burden? Severe monophobia (fear of being alone)? Losing the people closest to him in rapid succession?

Romano shut his eyes, trying to keep in the tears, as he leaned into Antonio. Losing Grandpa Rome hurt him, too, but not like it did Veneziano. Those two were close, not to say that Romano and his Grandfather weren’t close as well. In fact, while Grandpa Rome taught Italy how to paint and do art, he’d also taught Romano how to fight, plan battle strategies, and other such things. He’d trained them each, so that together, they could run a perfect nation. But then he just… died. No warning, no goodbyes, he just fucking died. Then Romano and Veneziano were separated. At a time when they needed each other the most, they were torn apart. Romano would never admit it, but he’d cried for days. Then, to top the cake, his brother fell in love, and his love fucking _died_.

Italy was only aware of the pain. He was alone… So alone, in a dark, dark, pit of sorrow. He was so scared… Everything hurt. His heart hurt the most. He was so cold… Then, there was warmth around him, enveloping him in peace and comfort. He pushed himself as close to the warmth as he could. It was only then, that he realized that he was clinging tightly to Germany, as the German man awkwardly ran his fingers through Feli’s hair, carefully avoiding the curl. Japan, too, had a hand placed on his shoulder, in his own show of comfort. Italy sniffled, opening his eyes to look at his friends, tears still refusing to stop.

“Feliciano… We’re here for you. Always. You don’t need to keep all of this bottled up, Ja? It’s bad for you.” Germany stated in a soft, caring, comforting voice.

“Hai, Itary-kun.” Japan squeezed his shoulder lightly, “We’re only a phone-call away whenever you need us.”

“G-grazie…”

After a few minutes of awkward silence broken only by the sniffles of the distraught Italian, Prussia finally said something. “The next one is better.” He said, “It’s America’s. **Dear Diary, I’m gonna find Nemo. I’m gonna do it. And I’m gonna kill that bastard barracuda that killed almost his entire family. I’m gonna do it.** ”

A few snickers sounded throughout the room, but the one relieving sound that stood out was Italy’s giggles. “Did you ever find it?” He asked in a slightly teasing manner, eyes puffy and red, and still a bit watery, but the slight smile on his face made the entire room relax. He was still sitting on Germany’s lap, though, with Japan sitting between the two of them and China (who was sitting with Russia on his other side, their chairs pushed rather close together).

“No! I searched _everywhere!_ I even went to that address on the goggles, but, get this, there wasn’t even a dentist there! I was so shocked!” America said, ranting about how they must’ve relocated and stuff. People were rolling their eyes, but America didn’t care. He knew he sounded like an idiot now, but he was making Italy smile again, and that was his goal. In truth, he’d only written that entry as a joke, before he’d gone scuba-diving for fun with Hawaii, California, and Florida. A bit of bonding with some of his favorite coastal states. What? Sure, he’s a bit immature, but he’s quite the responsible father. He _had_ to be, to raise 50 kids! Most from infancy! Now, _that_ was hard! At least the nations only had to raise _their_ siblings/kids/whatever they were from toddlerhood.

“Someone else read! My Awesome voice is getting awesomely tired!” Prussia complained.

“I’ll read! Please?” Sealand asked, looking at England with puppy-dog eyes.

“I don’t see why not?” England said with a smile. He smiled wider when Sealand jumped for joy, and grabbed the book.

“Okay! Romano’s next again!”

A loud bang sounded, startling a few nations, but when they looked over, they saw that Romano had, indeed, let his head fall face-first onto the table. He let out a long groan.

“Why me?”

“ **Dear Diary, it doesn’t matter how much you argue, something becomes true if everybody believes it. What can you do if they have told you the same thing all your life? Everybody always says “You’re a coward”, “You’re unfriendly”. There comes a time when you start to believe it. When no one disagrees, you end up thinking they’re right. When nobody supports you… What am I saying? They do have reason! I’m an unfriendly coward, right? Everybody can tell.** ”

Many guilty faces showed in the room. “Fratello…” Italy’s broken voice sounded. Romano looked into the golden orbs of his twin. “You may be a bit harsh and brash at times, but you’re not unfriendly. Nor are you a coward. You just prefer not to fight if you don’t have to. I’ve seen you angry. I’ve _seen_ you fight when you have something to fight _for_. You _are_ brave, fratello.” Romano wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that, so he mumbled a quick, but meaningful thanks into Spain’s chest, before asking Sealand to continue.

“It’s Prussia’s **Dear Diary, Today I found myself an awesome new bruder! I’ll deny it if anyone else asks, but I’m kind of scared. I’ve never been very good with people, much less taking care of them. I’m worried he’ll end up hating me too one day. Ha! Right, no one could hate the Awesome Prussia! Yea….** ”

Prussia sat; blank faced, and made a motion for Sealand to continue. “Next!” Germany eyed Prussia with suspicion. He’d ask him about his strange behavior later… when prying ears weren’t around.

“Okay~ Next is Jer—I mean, Papa England!”

“Papa…?” England repeated in disbelief. He was a father figure to someone? He felt a little faint. Was this good or bad? He didn’t know. He almost missed Sealand reading the entry. “ **Dear Diary, Even though Norway never really shows me how he feels I know he’s as happy as I am to find someone who he can share his creatures with without being ridiculed. He’s the only person I’ve found who really gets that part of me, and I hope that I’m that person for him, too…** ”

Norway looked at England and gave a small, stiff nod. England smiled in thanks, and motioned for Sealand to continue.

            “Next is Japan! **Dear Diary, Yesterday I was confined to my bed, still too weak from illness to move, but today I must train. If I ever am to become a stronger country, I cannot stay in bed a moment longer. I am small, and the bombs took much out of me, but this is why I must work harder. I do not want to get behind the others.** ”

“Kiku…” China looked very sad. His brother had a bad habit of not waiting until his body was fully recovered before training or going back into battle. Yao was so scared that it might one day become his fatal flaw… his last mistake…

Japan made a motion for Sealand to go on, to continue reading. He wasn’t embarrassed or ashamed in the least by that last entry. He was proud that he was able to get back to his feet and continue training. It was one of the reasons he became so strong, so fast.

“Italy’s next…” Sealand said uncertainly. He looked to Italy for permission, and received a nod. He hesitated a moment, before looking at the next few entries as well. “The next 3 are Italy’s…”

Italy sighed, but nodded for Sealand to go ahead. After all, there wasn’t anything he could do… they _had_ to read the entries. He held on to Germany a little tighter.

“ **Dear Diary, I know that some people think I’m too touchy, but I need touch… It reminds me that I’m not alone.** ”

Sealand turned the page, moving on to the next entry. The picture that was drawn with it was sad… a small boy, obviously a young Italy, with his right hand outstretched half-heartedly, as if reaching for something that was already gone. “ **Dear Diary, Now that Holy Rome is gone I regret so much… there are so many things that I’ll never get to say that I never even thought to before now. I vow from here on out, I will tell those around me that I love them every day! Then, when the days comes that I have to lose them, too, they’ll know.** ”

Nobody had the heart to say anything. Italy looked so melancholy, clinging to Germany like a lifeline. Sealand moved on to the third one.

“ **Dear Diary, I know Germany gets annoyed sometimes that I don’t leave his side… I’ve tried to lately… but it tears me up. He doesn’t understand why I’m so upset, but how can I explain that after losing Holy Rome, I can’t stand to not be at his side in case I lose him too… It would be all my fault, just like last time… Because I wasn’t there… Why wasn’t I there??** ”

“It’s not your fault.” Prussia spoke up, surprising the room. Italy didn’t seem to react, though he tightened his grip on Germany slightly.

“Italy. It vasn’t your fault.” Austria tried, with Hungary chiming in as well.

“Damn fucking idiota! Did you stab him?” Romano asked harshly. Italy flinched, but shook his head ‘no’. “Did you force him to leave?” Again, Italy shook his head. “Did you ask him to stay?” He hesitated before nodding his head slightly. “Then you did everything you could. It wasn’t your fault, damnit! And if you keep blaming yourself, then I’ll really give you something to be sorry about! Chigi! Just fucking forgive yourself, already, Veneziano! It’s _not_ _your fault!_ ” He stressed the last three words and pushed as much emotion and truth in them as he could. He didn’t care what the others thought, his brother needed to know this, and know it _now, Damnit!_

Italy froze at the last sentence of his brother. It… wasn’t his fault…? But! If he had done _something!_ Surely there was something he could’ve done! It was his fault… wasn’t it…? He just stood there and waved him off like an idiot! He had that _feeling_! His instincts were _never_ wrong! He _knew_ that he wouldn’t see Holy Rome again! And he _still…_ he still let him walk away… He ignored his instincts, his entire _being_ screaming at him to run after him! To _not let him leave!_ But… He did try to get Holy Rome to stay… Romano’s right, he _did_ try. But surely there must’ve been something else he could’ve done! But…

Romano felt somewhat satisfied that his idiota fratellino was seriously thinking about what he’d said. It was a start, at least… He nodded for Sealand to continue, knowing that Veneziano would be lost in his thoughts for a little while.

“It’s Prussia again. **Dear Diary, The locals set me on fire again… But this time, they tied me up so I couldn’t move. My whole body is sore, and my hair is shorter… After they realized I could not die from fire, they threw me into the water…. I cannot swim… But I also cannot drown… I was just there struggling for hours… Until Vati came… He looked so angry… And called me stupid… All this is happening because of my eye color… Why did God curse me? What had I done?** ”

“Bruder…?” Germany was shocked. Prussia never talked about his own childhood, claiming that it was before he was awesome, and that’s all he needed to know. He’d also always spoken so highly of Vati… How could such a ‘great’ man have left a _child_ —nation or not—struggling in the water for _hours_ , and then have the _gall_ to call them _stupid_ and be _angry_ with them for being _burned at the stake_?! What kind of _Vati_ would do something like that?! Germany was done with being shocked; he was fucking pissed. He wanted nothing more than to punch Vati in the face. Or the balls. Yes, he was willing to go below the belt for his big bruder.

Hungary was also shocked. She’d never known about Prussia’s past… He’d always claimed that he was too “awesome” to talk about something as ‘unawesome’ as his past. She’d always known that he’d been bullied for his albino hair color and red eyes—she’d seen it herself, when they were kids—but she’d never thought that the people would go so far as to believe him to be working with the devil… to burn him… to drown him… it was a terrible thing to be unable to die… to feel the agonizing touch of the flames, and be burned, but not be able to die. She had burned herself accidentally while cooking many times. It would scar, but go away with time. To be burned at the stake, though? How long had it taken for Prussia’s scars to fade away? For his hair to grow back? When she’d first met him, he’d had no scars that indicated burnings. Did they stop trying? Did they eventually learn that he couldn’t be killed? How long had this gone on? Had it been _going_ on after she’d met him? Oh Prussia…

Austria was saddened. Whether he liked it or not, Prussia was his brother. He cared greatly for family, even if he didn’t always show it. He’d never known about Prussia’s being burned at the stake, or being drowned. Had they tried other methods? How much torture had he had to endure? Perhaps it broke something in his mind, and that’s why he so annoying? It would explain a few things… Perhaps he’d be a little more tolerable of his… antics from now on…

Prussia looked down, unable to look anyone in the eye. It wasn’t a time that he liked to reflect on. His Vati was not touchy-feely. He was more of a hands-off kind of dad, preferring to let Prussia stumble around and figure things out himself, but when Prussia would “let people walk all over him” as his Vati put it, he’d be angry. When he’d cry or feel sorry for himself, he’d be disappointed in him. Prussia wasn’t sure which was worse, the anger or the disappointment. _That_ particular time it was both. He’d felt horrible.

It was soon after that, that Prussia decided to mask his pain and tears with laughter and a large ego. He’d proclaim himself to be “Awesome” and Vati wouldn’t know he was feeling sorry for himself, or that he wanted to cry. That he was anything _but_ awesome. He learned how to fight back, too. He’d always hated hurting people, especially his own people, no matter how big of an asshole they were. But it was that, or his Vati would be mad at him again. He quickly learned how to fight back. Needless to say, his people skills weren’t the best. He quickly fell into the habit—even in private—of being an overly annoying, egotistical, insensitive jerk who believed himself to be king of the “Awesome” world. It terrified him deep inside, that he no longer remembered how to take down the mask. Hell, he couldn’t even identify the mask anymore. It had become a part of him. He had _become_ the mask. Then he’d met Hungary. She helped him mellow it down a bit, and stop being such a jerk. But he never was able to remove his mask again… Perhaps now, he could start learning how to truly be himself once more… If his true self was still alive in there somewhere… buried beneath the mask…

“I think it’s time for a break.” Germany said. Murmurs of agreement sounded as people broke off into groups to talk about personal things. Romano nabbed Italy to have a private chat in their room. Perhaps some lunch was in order, too? Germany looked at the clock, seeing that it was nearly 1 PM.

“Lunch break as well. Meet back in 2 hours!” He said, “Dismissed!”


	4. Prussia's Truth

“I’ll read…?” A soft voice spoke, making the room jump. They then realized that it was Canada. After receiving a nod, he was handed the book. He glanced down at the next entry. “Next is America… **Dear Diary, I don’t see why everyone’s always so serious. I am serious on the battlefield, where it counts; besides that I don’t think there is anything wrong with enjoying my life. I’ll go insane if I don’t and I’d never be able to run my country.** ”

“Ve~ Exactly~!” Italy cheerfully said with a smile. Many of the more serious nations looked between America and Italy with a calculating expression. Perhaps it would do them some good to lighten up a bit more? Even if only on occasion…

“Next is Alfred again. **Dear Diary, Sometimes I really envy Mattie. His ability to just disappear. Sure, it must suck for him to not always be noticed, but he as the ability to be. Granted, most of the time he’s actually noticed it’s during a hockey game, but he can do it. Me? I can’t ever get people to forget me, and I get blamed for everything, hated for the things I try to do right because of it. Sometimes I get tired, and sometimes? Sometimes I just don’t want people to know I’m there.** ”

Canada was shocked at what he’d just read. His brother wanted to be invisible like _him_?! But! But! No! _Alfred_ was the one that _he_ wanted to be like! But… Alfred wanted to be like _him_?! The thought simply didn’t want to register in his brain. Then something clicked. _Alfred_ wanted to be _invisible_. _Why?_

“Mattie, please read the next entry.” Alfred said, not smiling for once. Simply looking out the window with a slightly melancholy expression.

“O-okay… It’s yours again…” No answer. Alfred was still looking out the window, but he nodded his head in recognition. “ **Dear Diary, Today I was badly wounded in battle. My boss told me to pull out of the fight, but I couldn’t do that. I got in this to protect what I love, and I won’t give up now. Even if I die, I will keep pushing forward, because I’m the hero! There’s no other way. I have to do it. If I don’t, how could I rest knowing that there might not be anyone else who will?** ”

“Alfred, you idiot! You need to pull out when injured to _recover!_ That way, you can return to the battlefield with your full strength!” England ranted, trying to get him to understand. Truth be told, he was actually worried that he would do something like that to his body; it was a bad habit that he’d seen early on, before the Revolutionary War, and tried to correct, but it seems to have only gotten worse over the centuries.

“Next is England… **Dear Diary, It’s all my fault. I’ve hurt both of my sons. I pushed Alfred away and now he hates me. I forgot about Matthew and caused him to fall in a constant state of dejection. I’ve failed both of them as a father and I deserve to be all alone.** ”

Alfred and Matthew stared at England. Is that what he thought? That he deserved to be alone? That he was a failure?!

“Iggy… Arthur…” Alfred started, catching England’s attention. _He never calls me Arthur anymore…_ “You are _not_ a failure of a father. You didn’t push me away, not really. I always looked up to you. I wanted to prove to you that I could be strong and stand on my own two feet like you. _That’s_ the main reason why I wanted independence. That, and your head was starting to get too big to fit through the doorframe.” He said the last part with a smile, letting him know that it was in good humor.

“Yeah, and sure you forgot me, but you make an effort to remember me! That’s more than anyone else does! I’m always happy to see you, dad, and know that you haven’t failed me, either.”

England didn’t know what to say. He just nodded his head in thanks. The words wouldn’t truly register until he was alone. He wouldn’t let them register until he was alone. He didn’t want to cry in front of all these other nations. Yet despite his best efforts, a few stray tears leaked from the corners of his eyes.

Canada seemed to understand, and continued reading. “Next entry is Prussia’s again. **Dear Diary, I think it’s all my fault. I did it, they all blame me… It’s all my fault, I’ve destroyed the dearest thing to me. I’m sorry bruder, maybe I shouldn’t be a country anymore… _It’s all my fault…_** ”

“Ze awesome me says MOVE ON!” Prussia said, nervously. Though the looks from Hungary and Germany said they’d speak about this later. _Great._

“Next is… Oh! It’s me.” _Oh, it’s this entry… I hope Alfred doesn’t overreact…_ “ **Dear Diary, I used to wonder how it was that I could feel so alone even when I was standing right beside someone who was actually paying attention to me. Then I realized, that even if I’m physically beside him, I’m still always behind him. Always lost in his shadow. Where no one knows I exist. Most of the time, not even him.** ”

“Mattie. You… you really feel that way…?” Alfred asked, heartbroken.

Canada didn’t say anything as he instead flipped the page to move onto the next entry.

“Mattie…? Canada…? Matthew Williams, _listen_ to me! I’m sorry. I don’t mean to overshadow you, or drown you out or anything, but… please don’t shut me out. You’re my twin brother, and I love you. Just… please don’t…” Alfred ran a hand through his hair in frustration. _Damnit! Why is this so hard?!_ He’d re-apologize when he and Mattie were alone—without a bunch of nosy nations watching.

Canada sighed and nodded, knowing that Alfred and he were going to have to speak in private later—when the current audience of nations that didn’t know how to mind their own business weren’t around to eavesdrop.

“Next entry is England’s. **Dear Diary, Today I got a hate letter from my older brother. I don’t understand why they hate me so much… Everyone always picks on me. They tell me they want to kill me, and that my creatures aren’t real, but they have to be… They are all I have… the only ones who are ever there. I feel so alone. I just don’t understand what I do wrong. I try so hard to be fashionable, and to fit in, but it’s never enough… I’m just making a fool out of myself trying to impress everyone, but I would give anything just to have one person… just one who loves me.** ”

“Arthur Kirkland!” America hissed under his breath. England jumped in his seat.

“Wha–?!”

“How _dare_ you—?” America took a deep breath to calm himself. The anger visibly drained from him, leaving behind a tired hurt. “Are you really that dense?” He asked.

“I beg your pardon?” England asked in surprise. What on Earth was he blubbering about this time?

“Mon Cher, he’s right.” France cut in. “I thought you knew better.” His voice held a disappointed tone.

“Even I thought you’d’ve realized it by now…” Canada chipped in.

“Someone please tell me what you’re all talking about!” England snapped, tired of them dancing around the topic.

“Arthur. You’ve never been alone.” Scotland finally said. England blinked in surprise as the words slowly registered.

“Huh?” Was the only response that escaped his lips.

“Dude, we’ve always loved you. Sure, we may not always _like_ you, but we’ve always _loved_ you. You’re family, and nothing and no one can ever change that.” America finished with a resolute tone, crossing his arms and giving a sharp nod to accentuate his point.

“I… You do?” England asked slowly, fearing that this was a prank of some sort.

“Oh, dear. Was he speaking ‘American’ again? Dad, he said that we love you!” Canada answered. “We’re having a long discussion about this during the next break.” He sighed.

England gave them a soft smile. “Thank you. Really, it means the world to me.”

 _It shouldn’t have to…_ France couldn’t help the thought running through his mind. Had he really been that cruel to his friend and brother? Did he really feel so unloved that he turned to his imaginary flying rabbit instead of his own family?

“Next entry is by Italy.” Italy, along with most of the nations, seemed to grow rather serious. They were all expecting something rather heavy or sad from Italy’s diary entries, now. “ **Dear Diary, The hardest part of this life, despite what people may believe, it isn’t the pain of war. It isn’t even the effects we take on from our country—it is finding balance. The balance between our countries, and our own humanity within ourselves. At which point, are we just trying to keep ourselves sane, and when do we become selfish for loving against the will of our countries current allies?** ”

“He’s right, aru…” China sighed quietly, surprised by how accurate the entry was. In fact, nearly every nation on the room was nodding (even if only mentally) along as it was being read. Though relieved that it wasn’t an entry that involved tears again, it was still a rather heavy topic. Perhaps all those inventors and philosophers and whatnot that came from Italy, influenced Feliciano more than anyone realized. Only Romano truly knew the extent to which he was influenced by some of the greatest minds in history.

“Next entry is Germany. **Dear Diary, I didn’t always understand how Italy can be constantly happy even in the worst of times. It was as if nothing bothered him, but I’ve realized that this is completely inaccurate. In fact, things seem to affect him more than anyone else I’ve ever known. He just puts on a happy face for everyone else. I wish I could reach in there and pull the sadder part out so that I could hold him until it passed, convince him he didn’t have to hide his pain for my sake. Then he’d be honestly happy. There is nothing I want more.** ”

Germany tightened his grip around Italy a bit more. “Now I can.” He whispered into his ear quietly, making the Italian sink into his embrace gratefully.

“Next one is…” Canada trailed off, his eyebrows rising above his hairline in shock.

“Mattie? Who’s next?”

“I-it’s… someone who’s dead…” Canada hesitantly looked up at Prussia and Italy. “It’s Holy Roman Empire’s diary entry.”

“What?!” Prussia shouted out in shock. Though it shouldn’t be that surprising. The Great Roman Empire and other Ancients spoke to them, so why couldn’t they have put a dead nation’s diary entry in the book? But _why?_ What use could his dead bruder’s diary entry be to the nations in this room?

Italy was also in a state of minor shock, but not for the same reasons as Prussia. _Holy Rome…_ His love. The one he continues to wait for, even to this day. His one and only love. He never knew he’d kept a diary… What had it said? Where was it now? Did it still exist, or has it fallen to the clutches of time?

“Here goes… **Dear Diary, I met this girl today when I visited Austria’s house. When I saw her, I had this odd fluttery feeling in my stomach. Diary, is this what they call ‘falling in love’?** ”

“Ve~ Holy Rome…” Italy muttered softly. He gave a small sad smile, and tried to think only of the good times with Holy Rome, rather than that sad goodbye.

“Girl…?” Germany muttered in confusion, trying to be quiet so that Italy wouldn’t hear. Italy, much to the surprise of the nations around him, started to giggle a bit. While they were greatly relieved that he wasn’t in tears again, they were equally confused as to what was so funny.

“Ve~ Holy Rome thought I was a girl the entire time~!” He giggled again, finally explaining it for them. Only Hungary, Prussia, Austria, and Romano knew this little detail, so the other nations were rather surprised/shocked at this revelation.

“I wore a dress as a child, because Mr. Austria thought I was a girl. I didn’t see anything wrong with it, and I rather enjoyed wearing the dress. Though sometimes Miss Hungary would dress me up in her clothes…” Italy trailed off, smiling happily at the fond memories.

“And if you saw him as a child, you’d think he was a girl, too.” Austria stated, feeling the need to defend himself. The other nations tried to imagine Italy as a child, and most came up with a little girl, rather than a boy. Yes, they could see how Austria had mistaken Italy’s gender.

“Right… Next is Romano.”

“DIO! Somebody fucking shoot me now! Damnit! I _knew_ Grandpa Rome hated me! He’s probably laughing up there, _right now,_ damnit!” He yelled, waving a fist at the sky.

“Romano~ Grandpa Rome doesn’t hate you~ He loves you! That’s why he’s doing this! So that we can all understand you better~!” Italy said in a falsely cheery tone, which was only now, thanks to the diary entries, recognized by a select few nations.

“Che. Whatever. Just fucking read. He’s still laughing…”

“Right… **Dear Diary, I can’t help but blame myself for my brother getting together with that macho potato. If I hadn’t given him my empty Tomato crate, they never would’ve met.** ”

“Ve~ That’s right! Grazie, Romano~!”

“Fuck.” Was accompanied by a _thud_ as Romano’s head hit the table.

“An empty tomato crate…?” Japan asked curiously.

“Ah, that’s right! We never told you, did we?” Italy asked excited. He went on to explain about how he’d been using the tomato crate as storage for some other food items, and after eating them all, he fell asleep in the crate. Romano, seeing the perfect opportunity for a good prank, nailed him in the box as a joke, planning to come back in an hour or two—after a siesta. Then Germany came along, and tapped on the crate, waking him up with a start. He couldn’t very well pretend like nobody was inside after he’d heard his rather vocal awakening, so he’d blathered on about the first thing that popped into his mind, the box of tomatoes fairy. Romano thumped his head on the table again.

“You have an IQ of what, now?”

“Ve~ I may have a high IQ, but I have ADD! My mind tends to wonder on and on about the strangest of things without permission~!” Italy defended.

There were a few chuckles around the room as Italy finished up the little story. It was a welcome break from the readings, that’s for sure.

“You know, we’ve been doing this for how long now? A few hours, at least. Perhaps we should read a few more and then continue this tomorrow?” England suggested. There were tired nods of agreement around the room.

“Right, so… Oh! It’s one of those non-diary entries. It reads, **When England was little, he gave Scotland a toy rabbit. Despite acting like he hates his little brother, Scotland still sleeps with that rabbit every night, and doesn’t let anyone touch it.** ”

“You… you _kept_ it?” England asked in shock. He’d spent countless nights making that stuffed rabbit for his brother by hand, hoping that it would make him love him. But the way Scotland had received the toy led him to believe that he’d hated it, and looking back on it now, he admitted that it wasn’t the prettiest work, either. It hardly looked like a rabbit… He’d thought that he’d thrown it out as soon as he could! But that he’d kept it all these centuries… And slept with it every night? And he never let _anyone_ touch it? He couldn’t help but feel touched. His brother… did he actually _love_ him?

Scotland blushed and looked away. It was all true. He did still have that plush toy, and he treasured it above all else. His precious baby brother, England, made it for him by hand, after all. It was surprisingly well made, too. He’d preserved it with some magic, but he let nobody else touch it. Even his pets knew to never mess with the bunny. The last person to touch it was Romania… Let’s just say that there’s a reason why vampires can’t go out in the daylight… Scotland’s magic is nothing to sniff at.

“Next entry is Germany. Canada let loose a wicked smirk as he glanced ahead in the entry. This would be fun. **Dear Diary, It’s happened for the third time already: I bid the soldiers in a dugout good night, then come back the next morning to find them all either dead or missing. No one seems to know what’s happening, and it’s scaring those men who are left. But now, I know. There was a message left in the dugout this time: “Matthew was here.” It seems Arthur has decided to make the boy his assassin.** ”

Canada, for one, was wearing a proud and slightly creepy smirk. Germany looked away. The other nations suddenly realized that having an invisible nation was not such a good thing when wartime comes around… Especially when he was scary strong like his brother, even if he didn’t show it often.

“Next entry, then~! It’s America. **Dear Diary, I know France didn’t invent french-fries. I only keep asking because seeing the country of “love” get so angry is hilarious!** ”

“ _Zat’s_ why?!” France said, outraged. America just laughed. A few other nations chuckled, seeing the supposed nation of “love” getting angry _was_ rather amusing…

“Next; It’s Prussi…a…” Canada trailed off as the last sentence of the entry caught his eye. Was it true?! He couldn’t be?! Canada didn’t want that to happen! His eyes locked with Gilbert’s, and Prussia immediately knew which entry it was. He nodded his head solemnly, saying that it was true, and that it was okay to read it.

Canada fought back tears as he read, making many nations nervous. “ **Dear Diary, I’ve been getting really sick lately. My scars hurt and last night I couldn’t stop coughing. Yesterday, I was at Austria’s house just trying to bug him while he played the piano, but I had to leave suddenly when I started to cough up blood. I’m not sure if he saw the blood or not… I hope he didn’t… I guess I’m finally fading…** ”

The room stood still with shock. Prussia was fading away? Gilbert was dying? But it didn’t make any sense! He would’ve faded away when he was dissolved, right?! So he should be fine! He’s been fine for decades, now. Why would he fade away so suddenly?

“Bruder…?” Germany looked at Prussia with worried shock. It couldn’t be true! He still _needed_ his brother! He couldn’t go yet! It was so hard to almost lose him when he dissolved. But now… He couldn’t leave, he just _couldn’t!_ _NIEN!_

Prussia could read Germany’s thoughts from his controlled expression, and pulled his beloved bruder into a hug. Italy, reading the atmosphere, stepped away to allow the two to embrace one another fully. He took his original seat between Germany and Japan—who moved back to his other seat a chair over. Germany tried his best to keep the tears at bay, but a few leaked out and his voice cracked a bit as he asked, “Is it true…?”

Prussia hugged him tighter. “Ja… I’m sorry.” Germany squeezed his bruder tightly. He felt like a child again, after his first time seeing war. He’d sobbed into Prussia’s shoulder for hours as he rocked him back and forth. He’d felt so helpless, so small, so insignificant… He felt like that again, now. Was this how Prussia felt when Vati died? When his other brother, Holy Roman Empire died? Helpless and unable to do anything but stand by and watch the one you love wither and fade? It was so frustrating. So…

“I think we should stop here for the night.” Canada stated in a surprisingly loud voice, as he marked the page and closed the book. It showed that they were over halfway done. “We’ve learned a lot today, and I think we all need a good night’s rest. The reading will continue in the morning, and nobody is to read ahead.” As if hearing the words, the pages of the book flashed white, and the cover seemed to meld together. It now looked more like a box than a book. “Well, that solves that problem.” He stated.

The nations all began filing out, going off into private areas in groups to talk about the reading, or simply going straight to their rooms to get some much-needed sleep. The day had been extremely emotionally exhausting for most, and simply taxing or inconvenient for others. Italy went off with Germany, Japan, and Romano and Spain to talk about a few things, while China and Russia went off in private to… ahem… get to know one another a bit more. (Interpret it as you wish)

The Nordics stayed together, while the FACE family met in France’s room, where he prepared some late dinner for everyone, letting England watch how he made the food (with Canada supervising) for the meal.

Hong Kong, South Korea, and Taiwan waited in China’s room for his return to talk about some of the stuff from the reading, and knew that Japan would join them later, after he’d finished talking with Italy.

Germany left the “Italy Meeting” a little early, on Italy’s insistence that he go speak to Prussia, so he went and found his brother’s room. They had their first heart-to-heart since Germany’s childhood, and stayed up until 3 AM, before they cried themselves to sleep in a brotherly embrace.

Hungary and Austria stayed up for awhile and spoke as well. Mostly about Prussia, though Hungary considered bringing up the threesome idea, she supposed that it’d be best to wait; Prussia’s health was the biggest concern here.

Japan and China had also ended up talking with one another in private until they fell asleep together, finally brothers again.

Romano fell asleep with Italy curled up into his embrace, the two brothers having had a serious heart-felt talk in private, involving many tears and hugs. Spain didn’t mind giving up his bed for the brothers, and ended up sleeping on the couch to give them all the time and privacy they needed.


	5. Chapter 4: The American Secret

The next morning, all of the nations slowly made their way into the meeting room once more. Many looked tired, but everyone seemed to have some sort of weight lifted off of them. Romano and Italy were sitting side by side, the two sandwiched between Germany and Spain. Germany forced Prussia to sit by him, and France sat on Spain’s other side. China was sitting between Japan and Russia, and Japan was sitting to Prussia’s other side.

Finally, Canada stood up and grabbed the book. The instant he touched it, there was a flash of white light, and the sealed book became readable once more. He opened it up to the marked page.

“This entry is England’s. **Dear Diary, So I was forced to celebrate one of these silly “birthdays” again. Two more will be coming soon, since everyone keeps guessing and thinking one or the other is right. The problem is, even I don’t know. No one recorded it when I was born.** ”

“Dude? Why are you so disappointed about that? You get _two_ birthdays!” England, while slightly embarrassed—who didn’t even know their own birthday?!—was glad that he didn’t sour atmosphere after the whole Prussia thing yesterday.

“I do believe that I should read, now?” England stated, taking the book from Canada with a nod of thanks, as his voice was still tired from yesterday; Canada couldn’t remember the last time he’d spoken so much, and his voice was still rather sore.

“Next entry is Japan.” He smirked and laughed a bit when he saw the entry. “Honestly, Japan, if you were as outspoken in reality as you are in your diary entries, I doubt anyone would take advantage of you.” Japan had a light pink dusting over his cheeks in embarrassment. Honestly, how was he supposed to know that others would one day read his diary entries? If he’d known, he would’ve been more formal… “

 **Dear Diary, SCREW SEXY! I’M BRINGING KAWAII BACK!** ” The room burst out in laughter. Even Japan had a slight smirk on his face. _I’m glad I could help to relax everyone a bit... Before we get to the darker entries…_

“Hehe. The next entry is… Oh! It’s mine. **Dear Diary, I was leaving the world conference when I overheard a few nations talking about how “useless and pathetic” Italy was. They obviously have never seen that kid when he’s pissed. Scariest thing I have ever seen.** ” He finished with a shiver.

“Wait, _Italy_ _scary_?! Are you sure we’re talking about the same nation, here? You mean _Southern_ Italy, right?” Someone asked. England was unable to pinpoint who, as they spoke without an accent—probably to remain anonymous.

“No, I mean Northern Italy. He’s terrifying when he’s angry. _Trust_ me. I pray that you never see him pissed.” England said. He _still_ had nightmares.

There were quite a few disbelieving snorts or eye-rolls (even from Germany!), but Italy sat there, next to Romano, with a light smirk on his face. Perhaps that’s what made him so scary—you never see it coming. But he, like Canada, could give any nation nightmares for decades if he wanted to. He wasn’t part of the Mafia for nothing, you know, he and Romano learned quite a bit there.

“Prussia’s next.” England stated, catching Italy’s not-too-cheery smirk, and decided it would be in everyone’s best interest to continue on with the reading before he decided to _show_ everyone why England was terrified of an angry Italy. “ **Dear Diary, You have no idea how thankful I am to little West. This child lets me know that I’m not just a monster that kills, I’m also an older brother with a heart.** ”

Nobody said anything; the entry brought a few tears to a few nations’ eyes. Especially when they remembered that Prussia might not be there for much longer. It was one thing as a human, to have a close friend die, but as a nation, it was ten times worse. It was worse because they’d never see it coming. When you live for centuries—millennia even—at a time, and you couldn’t die until your nation was dissolved, you tended to believe that those fellow nations would be there forever. Unlike humans, who knew and accepted death as a part of daily life on Earth—something that would happen to everyone at some point in time—nations never had to accept death as part of their lives beyond the deaths of their people, or war. They tried not to get close to humans because of things like Joanne of Arc, and Amelia Earhart; humans died too quickly… to easily. And Nations were immortal, so there was no need to mentally or subconsciously prepare for their deaths. So the news that Prussia would soon likely die… It was shocking, and surreal. Many still refused to accept it.

“Canada’s next.” England’s voice snapped many out of their private thoughts. “ **Dear Diary, I know I shouldn’t ask for too much but… It makes me sad sometimes when people forget that my people fought in WWI and WWII. A week after France and England declared war, I independently announced that I would fight, too. I trained Arthur’s and Al’s pilots. I fought in Normandy on June 6, 1944, alongside my brother and Arthur. On D-Day, I held my beach there and reached my objective to save France. I was one of the liberators of the Netherlands. And yet… I’m usually forgotten. Or considered cowardly and weak. I wonder what I did to make them think that way…** ”

Russia shivered unnoticeably. Only China seemed to notice his discomfort about the topic. Canada sighed, and was about to motion England to continue, when Russia spoke up.

“Da. I am thinking that we are not to be underestimating Canada…” He stated with a shiver. This time, however, the other nations noticed his discomfort.

“Dude? What’s wrong?” America asked, not out of concern—really!—but simply out of curiosity.

“Nothing…” Russia replied.

“What is it, aru?” China asked quietly.

“He fought Canada in the war, that’s what.” France finally answered. The other nations blinked at him, and turned to a lightly blushing Russia. They then turned to Canada, who had a rather vicious dark smirk on his face before he noticed he was being stared at again, and immediately swapped out for that perfectly too-innocent face which left no doubt in their minds that he was a demon in nation skin, when he wanted to be.

“Alright… Next is Alfred. **Dear Diary, I’m getting tired of people always shooting down my ideas and calling me an idiot. They haven’t let me actually present in almost a year. They don’t know that I’ve had a legitimate presentation prepared for each and every world meeting since I arrived. I wish I didn’t get such bad stage fright, but at least now I don’t have to embarrass myself in front of everyone. But… It still hurts, seeing even the people closest to me laugh. Even Japan, and England… And Canada, too. Even though I’m pretty sure he didn’t think I could see him, I did. I just wish I could be what everyone wants me to be.** ”

“America…?” England couldn’t believe it. 99% of the nations in the room couldn’t believe it. America spouted all that robot crap because of _stage fright_?! He actually had a _legitimate_ presentation prepared for _every_ meeting? But… How long had they laughed at him? How long had they kept him from presenting? Well over a year, now. This entry must’ve been an older one.

They all felt guilty, but their guilt only intensified when they saw a bright red America staring determinately at the table in front of him, refusing to meet anybody’s eyes.

“I’m so sorry, America…” England started, startling America into looking up.

“Huh?” Was his eloquent response.

“We had no idea that you got stage fright so badly, Mon Cher.” France stated apologetically.

“Yeah, we’re all sorry, Al… We never should’ve laughed at you…” Canada hugged Kumajiro a little tighter in order to try and hide his guilt.

“Sumimasen, America-san… I shouldn’t have laughed…” Japan stated, extremely embarrassed. He should’ve _noticed!_ He was the master at reading auras and moods, right? So why didn’t he notice the now-obvious air of nervousness and anxiety around the boisterous American? _Why?_

“I think you should present first, next time, America.” Germany stated, gaining nods from the room. “Of course, you’ll need to work on getting over your stage fright, so if you need someone to help you present, make sure you practice with them at home before the meeting, Ja?”

America just nodded and grinned, happy that they now knew. Maybe he could present again? And do it right this time? Germany’s idea of presenting with someone would probably help. If his stage fright kicked in again, they could cover for him while he calmed down enough to start again. Maybe England or Canada? Or even Japan! Japan always agreed with his crazy stage-fright ideas anyways, so imagine how impressed he’d be with his _actual_ _prepared_ presentation ideas! He found himself now looking forward to the next Meeting…

“Prussia’s next. **Dear Diary, I was created as a left-handed albino and survived the Middle Ages. I managed to live thorough Hungary’s beatings. I watched her and Austria get married and had no problems. I didn’t say anything when I realized my brother loved the crybaby Italian more than me. I didn’t shed a tear when old man Fritz died. I didn’t lash out like I wanted when my country dissolved. But when I was out on the streets and someone told me in confidence Prussia was no longer important, I nearly broke down and cried. I never thought I would say this but… I’m just not awesome anymore, am I?** ”

The room was silent. Nobody quite knew what to say. Germany looked over at his brother, hurt. “Vas?” Did he really think…? “You dummkopf!” Germany whacked Prussia—lightlyish—upside the head.

“Ow! West! What the hell was that for?!” Prussia complained, holding his now aching head.

“You are such an idiot! You’re mein bruder! You’re one of the most important people in the world to me. Und ja… you _are_ Awesome—regardless of what anyone else thinks. I love you, bruder.”

Prussia sat there, and stared. Nobody had _ever_ told him that he was Awesome. Other than Gilbird, but that could’ve easily been a mistranslation! He doesn’t speak bird! But… his brother thinks he’s awesome? He… still loves him?

A single tear made its way down Prussia’s face. “Danke…” was all he managed to get out. England decided to save them from the audience of nations around them, and continued reading.

“Ah, it’s a non-diary entry. **During the Revolution, Alfred was considered too young to fight. So for the first year or so, he was just the drummer boy.** ”

“Wait, really?!” England spluttered. He knew that Alfred had looked quite young at the time, but… To keep a nation from battle? To make him the _Drummer Boy_ for an entire _year_?!

“While it was really frustrating most of the time, I got to learn my way around the battlefield and whatnot from a relatively safe distance. I was also helping the big-shots behind the scenes with battle strategies and attack plans.”

“I see, aru. So you were only the drummer boy in appearance, until the other members could be convinced that you were old enough to fight!”

“Yep~! That’s pretty much it! It was so frustrating, though. On the other hand, I got a crap-ton of training and firing practice!”

“Perhaps I could read?” France asked. England nodded and handed him the book in a surprisingly civil manner.

“Merci. China’s next. **Dear Diary, It’s lonely here. All my babies have grown up. I just wish that there were more young nations I could take care of.** ”

“Dude? Really? _Really?_ ” America asked, thinking of his States. Sure, he loved them, but he wouldn’t want to raise them all over again. Some of them were _still_ children! Hawaii and Alaska were only 8 and 9! And Texas was only 10 for some reason! And _don’t_ get him started on Puerto Rico! He’s only 3! Then there’s the prankster/troublemaker Dakota Twins… They were only 12! What trouble they got into! They once caused a three-day-long blackout in the entire state of New York! Thank _God_ his original 13 states were old enough to babysit. Free of charge, too. Nope! He did _not_ want to have to re-raise 51 kids, thanks.

“Next is moi~ **Dear Diary, I did _not_ invent french-fries. If America asks again, I WILL stab him.** ” Laughter and chuckles sounded throughout the room.

“Dude, I thought we already covered this! I ask because I like to see you angry~!” America laughed.

“Shut up…” France said, dropping his head into his hands.

“Next one is Italy… **Dear Diary, Sometimes I doubt Holy Rome is really coming back. I know he promised to come back, but still… Every night, I wait for him. I sit outside with a big pot of pasta and wait for him. I sit outside for the entire night and fall asleep in the chair. I know my Holy Rome, and I know he wouldn’t ever break a promise. Especially to me. But sometimes, I just feel like those last words were an empty promise…** ”

“Oh, Italy…” Germany sighed. He hated seeing Feli so sad…

“Ve… Let’s move on, ‘kay?” Italy stated, a small smile on his face to show he was all right.

“I’ll read!” Alfred stated, taking the book from France, before he could see who the next entry was by. America glanced at the next entry, and smirked, ignoring England’s lecture on taking things without permission. _Well, I suppose they would’ve found out anyways… Besides, it’ll be interesting to see their reactions._

With a large somewhat Russia-like grin, he started reading. “It’s mine, by the way, **Dear Diary, I overheard England and China complaining about how hard it is to take care of a child. England even turned to me and said I will never understand the difficulty of raising someone.** ”

“Well, it’s _true._ ” England muttered as China nodded his head, but America just rolled his eyes, and read the final sentence with a wicked smirk.

“ **I think it’s time to introduce everyone to the States.** ”

It took a moment for everyone to register what was just said.

“WHAT?!” England burst out, spluttering. “Your _States_?!”

“Aiyaa! Your States are personified, aru?!”

“Yup~ All 50 of ‘em! Plus Puerto Rico. I found each and every one of them. The original 13 were toddlers and kids when I found them, a few decades before the revolution. By the time _that_ rolled around, they were pre-teens. Though the rest of my states I had to raise from infancy, so next time you complain about child-care, and think I don’t know what it’s like, _you_ try raising 51 kids, most from _diapers_ , and in _secret_ , and we’ll see how you fare! At least _nations_ come potty-trained!”

“Wha?!” England was flabbergasted. America… _AMERICA,_ of all nations, raised _51_ people?! Most from _infancy_?! What the bloody hell?!

“Sacrebleu!” France cried out in shock. How? When?!

“From _infancy_ , aru?” China asked, feeling a little faint. And he thought _five_ _kids_ were bad…

“Yeah; only the original 13 colonies were toddlers when I found them. The rest were all infants or newborns. In other words, baby formula and diapers and all that fun stuff… 38 different times.”

“So are they all grown up…?” Japan asked curiously.

“Nah, only the 13 are. Their ages range from 18-23, while the rest range from around 12-17 with a few exceptions. I have 2 10-year-olds, New Mexico and Texas, and then Hawaii’s 8, and Alaska’s 9. Oh! And Puerto Rico’s about 3. And before you all go off on me not being responsible enough to raise 51 kids, let me tell you this; I know every one of my kids’ names, birthdays, favorite animals, colors, and hobbies. I know all their habits, and their likes and dislikes. I get 51 father’s day cards and 51 birthday cards every year, and I somehow manage to get everybody together for major holidays, spend birthdays with each of my kids, and still find time for father-daughter/son bonding. I take all of them on an annual cross-country road-trip in a special bus that I built myself, and talk to all of my kids every week.” America finished, leaving the room stone silent. Nobody could believe it; America was a responsible father of 51 kids. What the _fuck?!_ Yet somehow… it happened.

“Wait… what about the Civil War…?” Someone asked, but they removed their accent, so nobody could tell who it was.

America visibly winced. “Yeah, the Confederate States were personified and I fought against him, but… mainly it was also, in large, a differing in views of my kids. They started to fight against one another like mad, and I was terrified that they’d end up killing each other. I finally ended up… winning my battle, and grounded _everybody_. Trust me; they weren’t happy, but I somehow made it work. We all get together at least twice a year—not including holidays and special events—and do team-building activities and family-bonding, so that something like that doesn’t happen again. Though seeing their faces when they saw me after the war… I was pissed, let me tell you, but I was more scared than anything else… I doubt they’ll do anything like that again.” America stated, before turning to face everyone. “That being said…” He put a very Russia-like smile—though his put Russia’s to shame—on his face, scary do-whatever-the-fuck-I-say-because-I-say-so aura included, and stated, “Anybody who dares to try and harm one of my children will learn why I went as far as to bomb Japan in WWII.” Japan shivered. Sure, they’d put that behind them, but the memories were horrifying. It hurt worse than anything he’d ever felt in his long, long life. That being said, that’s one hell of a threat.

Then something in Japan’s head clicked. His states were personified. America’s _states_ were _personified_. And he’d _attacked_ Hawaii. He, Japan, had attacked a helpless _8-year-old child._ Where was the honor in that? Sure, he hadn’t known about the personified states then, but that didn’t change the fact that he’d still attacked a child! He felt terrible, now—not that he hadn’t before. But America caught his gaze, and somehow, he conveyed the message: “It’s okay. She forgave you. I forgave you. Just as long as you don’t do it again.”

Japan’s shoulders sagged in relief. Though he’d still have to apologize to Hawaii in person. Perhaps some free anime and manga would help? Oh, and Pocky. Definitely Pocky. Everybody loves Pocky.

“Alright, so! The next entry is by France. **Dear Diary, They say that for a nation, having one’s capital destroyed feels like being stabbed in the chest. Surely Angleterre must know this! If he sought to do that to me, fine. But since July he’s been doing this to Quebec. To Matthieu. To a CHILD! Does Angleterre have any idea what it is like to sit by his son’s bed every night, watching as he writhes and screams in pain? I swear to God: if for nothing else, I will make him pay for this.** ”

England looked down at the table, ashamed. He’d only been acting under orders… he knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t defy the orders he’d been given.

“England.” Canada said, snapping him out of his thoughts. “I forgive you.” England stared. He couldn’t have heard that right… could he? “You were only acting under orders… trust me, I know what that’s like.” Canada continued, thinking about the time he was forced to burn the White House to the ground. “I don’t blame you.”

England nodded, unable to find the words he needed to say. He’d speak to Canada about this later.

America went to continue, when his phone started ringing, playing one of the state songs. Alfred immediately set the book down, and picked up his phone.

“Hello?” He asked, though he seemed to already know who it was. The nations couldn’t make out anything more than a worried female’s voice on the other end.

“Calm down, sweetie. I’m fine. The meeting’s just lasting a little longer than expected, and I—” The girl cut him off. “Alright, a _lot_ longer than expected. Can you get Del on the phone?” There was a few seconds of waiting before a distinctly male voice answered. Again, they couldn’t make anything out.

“Hey.” Alfred winced a moment later as a loud crash was heard from the other end.

“Dad! It’s crazy over here! When’re you coming home?!” The voice shouted. Alfred sighed, and looked at the room.

“Sorry, but I need to take this.” Alfred finally said, as he left the room, the book automatically sealing itself behind him.

“Was that…?” England asked numbly.

“Yeah. Those are his kids. He was just on the phone with Florida, before she switched off with Delaware. It’ll take a while, so we might as well break here.” Canada explained. After a moment of hesitation, Germany sighed.

“All right. Fine. Everyone reconvene in…” Germany looked at Canada for help.

“Two hours should be enough, assuming one of his kids doesn’t pop by… Then again, I’m not sure if they wouldn’t now that their secret is out…” Canada sighed. “At any rate, I’m going to go help my brother out. Diego, you come, too.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m on it.” Diego sighed. Sometimes, it was hard being the youngest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please don’t kill me! I know I update all my other stories so much faster, but that’s because they’re mostly pre-written! That, and this story’s a little hard for me to write, mostly because it’s sort of out of my comfort zone, for whatever reason. I meant to update this days ago for New Years, but life got in the way. Thank you to everyone who’s reviewed~! I still can’t believe how popular this story is! Thank you everyone, and please remember to review! 
> 
> The next chapter is the last pre-written chapter I have of this story, so after that, you’ll start seeing your suggestions of entries in the story~! :D Hope you enjoy that!
> 
> Happy 2016! Woohoo~! To another year of working at a computer and writing/reading about a world we can’t possibly join! =D 
> 
> Pages: 7  
> Words: 3,620
> 
> Date Posted: Monday, January 4, 2016


	6. Chapter 5: The Roman Legacy

            “Next is Iggy~! **Dear Diary, I went to Harry Potter world in Universal that America was so excited about. It was almost as cool as the real thing… Almost.** ”

“DUDE! You mean it’s _real?!_ ”

“Well of _course_ Hogwarts is real, you git! Where do you think I disappear to for 7 years every few centuries?! Honestly!” Alfred had no comeback for that. _Had I really not noticed him vanishing for months at a time?_ He shared a glance with Mattie and Diego—who was his younger brother Mexico.

“Do you think I could learn magic?” Canada asked quietly. England startled a bit.

“W-well, all nations have the potential for magic… Since we represent all of our citizens and all that… so as long as you have at least one magical citizen, I don’t see why not. I’d recommend you look into your own magical community if you have one before trying for Hogwarts, though. Just to help avoid confusion. Not all methods of magic work for everyone, after all.” He explained. Matthew gave a thoughtful nod of his head, and sunk into his own thoughts and theories.

“Next is Russia. **Dear Diary, I’m really jealous of Feli. He can hug and kiss anyone he wants. If I tried that, people scream and run away. I want to hug Yao the most, but I’m afraid he’ll run away screaming, too.** ”

“Not anymore.” Yao smiled at the Russian. He smiled and hugged him, happy that he didn’t run away screaming.

The other nations sat and thought about it. Were they really so judgmental of each other that even a simple hug or friendly gesture was misunderstood? Perhaps they needed to think more like the immortals that they were…

“Last one I’m reading! So this one’s… Italy’s… **Dear diary, It hurts so much when even your best friends call you ‘useless’.** ”

“They said WHAT?! I’LL FUCKING KILL THEM!” Romano was in a bit of a rage, and was only being held back by Italy and Spain.

“Ve! No, fratello! It’s okay! Really! I’m used to it, and they’re right! By their viewpoint, I am useless!” Italy argued, making the nations in the room wince.

“I-Itary-kun…” Japan stared at his friend. Had he really hurt him that badly? Sure, he was childish at times, but he was a fantastic cook, a great and loyal friend, and always knew how to make you smile. “Sumimasen…”

Germany was in a similar state of despair. Had he hurt his only friend? His best friend? He thought back to all the times he’d called him useless. To his face… behind his back… what kind of friend was he? First Feli had been tortured, and now he was being verbally bullied by his friends? Why didn’t he say anything? And moreover… why didn’t they notice?

“Yo! Japan, why don’t you read next, Okay?” Alfred said, breaking the tense silence.

“Oh, hai. I would be glad to.” Japan took the book from America, and opened it up to the next entry.

“Huhuhu. It’s yours, Alfred-san. **Dear Diary, I lost at hockey to my brother… again. Don’t tell anyone.** ”

“Damnit! I _told_ that stupid diary not to tell anyone!”

“It’s alright. I think it’s impossible to beat your brother at hockey. Canada’s simply too good at it.” England reassured him.

“Da. He beats me, too.” Russia stated with a smile, as he hugged Yao a little firmer, making sure he wouldn’t go anywhere. Yao simply hugged him back, reassuring the Russian that he was staying right where he was.

“Oh? It’s another non-diary entry. And it’s rather long, too… Though it seems to be older. From… World War 2? It’s about Italy.”

Italy’s head whipped up. A non-diary entry about him? Again? What could it be?

“It reads, **About a month after their alliance, Germany asked for Italy to open his eyes and look at him just once. But Italy never did. The last two people he opened his eyes for were his Grandpa Rome and Holy Roman Empire, and they both died. He thinks he killed the two people he loved the most just by looking at them. He understands that the fear is irrational, but he doesn’t want any other person he loves to die and leave him alone every again.** ”

Italy shifted in his chair uncomfortably. Everyone was staring at him. Was that why they never saw him open his eyes? He thought he’d kill them?

“That’s a load of crap, and you know it. I’ve seen your eyes how many times? Come on, Feli.” Romano smirked at his brother. Feli relaxed a bit, grateful that Romano broke the tension, and shifted some of the blazing stares away from him.

Japan, thankfully, drew the rest of the attention away when he started reading again.

“It’s America-san. **Dear Diary, There is a lot to me that the other countries never see. I seem dumb and self conceited, but I’m really not. I’m ashamed of things I have done in the past, like slavery and the Japanese internment camps. I hate what I’ve done to the environment. There are some things I just can’t change on my own, but the problem is I’m ashamed to ask for help.** ”

“Mon cher… There is no need to be ashamed to ask for help.” France said softly, looking at his pseudo son.

“Indeed. How do you think I’ve lasted so long? Asking for help will also help insure longevity to your nation.” China spoke up.

“Si, ñaño.” Mexico spoke up. “Come to us when you need help! That’s what we’re here for! Just as long as it isn’t about immigration.” He added the last part as an after thought. Alfred chuckled at his little brother’s antics.

“Thanks, guys.” He said, looking at Canada and England as well, who didn’t need to say anything.

“Next is another America-san entry. **Dear Diary, I had a dream last night where England died. It was horrible, you know? People were telling me it was my fault. But in the dark, he came to me as an angel and told me “I’m so proud of you.” …I think I’m gonna hug him as soon as I see him today. Cause I don’t know what I’d do if he were gone.** ”

“Oh Alfred…” England was both saddened and touched by this new development. He wanted to say something, but the American just shook his head minutely. Japan took the hint, and continued.

“It’s Russia-san’s. **Dear Diary, Every time I’ve killed, it’s because I’ve been forced. I’ve never liked killing. Ever. No matter who it is I must kill.** ”

“I think it’s safe to say none of us do.” Australia spoke up, causing a few nations to blink in surprise. “What? Just because I don’t speak up all the time like those loudmouths over there, doesn’t mean I ain’t here.” The Aussie defended himself.

“Next is France-san. **Dear Diary, Sometimes I wonder what it must be like to be human. How wonderful would it be? Sure, you’d die sooner. But you get to fall in love without it being a problem. You could find someone to actually grow old with. You wouldn’t have to be alone and watch a lot of your friends die while you lived. It must be nice…** ”

Many of the nations adopted a wistful look. Odd as it may seem, it was a dream of many of the nations—especially the older ones like China and Japan—to simply go to bed and die permanently. The coveted Eternal Rest. The humans truly had no idea how lucky they were. Many humans searched and killed in the name of immortality trying to escape the one thing the nations wanted more than anything else… death.

It was no secret that the majority of nations had cared—in some form, be it parentally, as a friend, or as a lover—for a human at one point in their lives. Sometimes they ended up being famous historical figures, such as Amelia Earhart, or Joan of Arc. Other times, they were simply nameless humans. Many nations believed that they were cursed, as any human they got close to, ended up dying young, and typically in a painful or traumatizing manner.

Nobody said anything about the entry. Nothing needed to be said. They all knew what they wanted, and that it was the one thing they couldn’t obtain. And perhaps, in all their immortal foolishness, they retained a sliver of human fear. The fear of the unknown. Fear of, not necessarily dying, but of those left behind, and those who move to the beyond. Not knowing where they were, or if they even still existed. Death was not something that nations dealt with very well. Specifically when it came to other nations.

“It is Itary-kun’s entry. It reads, **Dear Diary, I don’t understand it. Many countries have fallen all along history, but they always changed into something else: the Austro-Hungarian Empire, the Ottoman Empire, Byzantium… Others became part of something else like Scotland, Wales, Taiwan, or even Prussia. Why are Grandpa Rome and Holy Rome the only ones who truly died? Perhaps the Roman legacy is destined to disappear. Perhaps I’m destined to disappear too. Perhaps one day, I won’t exist, or Romano won’t exist. One of us will become the whole Italy and the other will be just a fading memory. Is that our fate?** ”

Silence. Pure silence. Italy was bright red, but it was only partially embarrassment. Mostly, it was frustration—that he was unable to do anything about the seemingly inevitable demise of the Roman Legacy; anger for being unable to save those he loved… and perhaps, one day, his brother; and a large part of it was that he was scared, so terrified, that one day, his beloved fratello would also fade away… That he’d die, too, and leave him all alone.

Sure, he’d have Germany and Japan, but it wouldn’t be the same. He and Romano… They were so closely connected… Not just by their nation, but the fact that they shared a _soul_ , that to lose him… In all honesty… He was sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he’d be unable to live in a world without Romano. He wouldn’t be able to take it. He’d be so alone… Romano was the only person in the world that truly got him… That really understood. If he was gone, he wouldn’t be able to live on… He wouldn’t _want_ to live on.

No, he’d apologize to Germany and Japan, as he was sure they’d be angry, but… he wouldn’t be able to take it. He just _couldn’t_ lose Romano. If one of them had to go, he would rather go himself, than lose Romano like that. At least he’d finally be with Grandpa Rome again, right? And Holy Rome! And Romano could live without him… Surely, he could? He had Spain, after all. But Italy? No, he’d lost too much already. He couldn’t lose another. He couldn’t lose another so close. If Germany died, heaven forbid, but if he did, at least Romano would be there for him—to pick up the pieces. He’d cry a lot, and surely go into a deep depression, but he wouldn’t be suicidal. No, but if _Romano_ died… Nobody could _ever_ pick up those pieces…

“Veneziano…?” Romano’s voice broke him out of his darkening thoughts.

In all honesty, the entry scared Romano more than any of the others. For multiple reasons, really. Part of it was because he _knew_ it was true; it was something he, himself, had pondered and wondered about many an occasion, but he hadn’t given it much thought for a few centuries. He was scared that one of them would fade away. He wasn’t sure he could survive without his beloved fratellino. Sure, he had Spain, and he’d probably be able to help him if, God forbid, his brother ever faded away, but Romano knew he’d never be the same. Half of himself would die with his brother.

But the part that really scared him, no _terrified_ him, was that he _knew_ Veneziano. He _knew_ what his thoughts were going towards by this entry alone. And worst of all, he _knew_ his brother’s mind… how it worked. If Veneziano were to die, as stated before, he’d be able to continue on with Spain as his foundation, his support to lean against in times of trouble and hardship. But Veneziano… If Romano were to die, he knew that Veneziano would follow him in death without a second thought. He’d already lost so much… Too much… Far, far too much to lose another. No, he knew that his fratellino wouldn’t be able to handle his death. He’d surely follow him, and then what would happen to their nation? The other nations? Would the others mourn for them? Would they be missed beyond their small circle of friends? Veneziano would, he was sure, but would _he_ , _Romano,_ be missed by anyone but Veneziano and Spain?

“Ve…”

“Itary-kun…? Daijobu?” Japan asked, concerned. He was acutely aware of Italy’s aura. It was growing rapidly darker with depression and troubling thoughts. Borderline suicidal, and he did _not_ want to lose one of his only friends—one of his best friends. He was really worried about him. That, and Italy’s expression had been growing steadily darker and more depressed since the passage started. Nearly everyone in the room had noticed.

Italy, startled out of his thoughts by Japan’s question, looked up sharply, his expression immediately slipping back into a happy and oblivious mask, which fooled no one. “Ve~ I’m fine, Japan! Really~!”

Japan stared calmly at Italy, still waiting for the answer to his question, as if he hadn’t heard Italy speak at all.

“Ve… It’s just…” Italy’s expression became rather troubled. “The Roman Legacy… Is it destined to die out? If so, then will Romano and I also cease to exist? Or will just one of us die, and leave the other all alone? If so, then who? Me? Or Romano? And when? Today? Tomorrow? Next week? Or perhaps it’ll be next year, or even a decade or century from now. It could even be another thousand years or three, but it’ll happen eventually.” Italy ranted, visibly upset. Then he clenched his fists until the knuckles were bone white, and gritted his teeth, as if in physical pain. His eyes opened to stare resolutely at the table in front of him; the shockingly golden orbs shone with absolute surety and wisdom and knowledge that many nations forgot he possessed. “One day… _One day_ one of us will fade. One of us _will_ die and leave the other. I _know_ this is true.”

“Itary-kun, you two have been alive for longer than I have. I’m sure you’ll both be fine.” Japan reassured his friend, confused at the reservation in Italy’s voice, as if he had already accepted that one of them would die.

“No, you don’t get it, Japan. I _know_ that one of us will die one day, and leave the other to become the sole personification of Italy.” Romano’s eyes widened at that.

“Is it…? Is it your _feeling_?” Romano asked quietly, which was quite uncharacteristic for the rather loud and colorful nation. Italy only nodded his head. Romano looked like he’d been punched in the gut. Like he’d been told that he had only a few months to live, or that his brother had only a few months left to live.

“No…” He whispered, not wanting to believe it, but unable to deny it. He started shaking.

“Roma…?” Spain asked worriedly. Romano simply reached over to Veneziano, and wrapped him in a tight embrace. Italy finally unclenched his fists, which were now dripping with blood from his nails digging into the skin, and hugged him back fiercely, leaving some bloodstains on the back of Romano’s suit, but neither cared. Italy started sobbing quietly, as Romano started a stream of cuss words in every language that’s ever existed in the past 2000 years at a steady and quiet pace.

The entire room was confused. Why were the two acting like it was the end of the world? Sure, their grandfather died, and Holy Roman Empire died, but that didn’t mean that _they_ would die, right? Yet even Romano had tears streaming down his face, and didn’t seem to care about anybody but his brother. It was as if they were told that one of them would die and never come back, and they didn’t know which one. Like they actually believed the entry!

“Come on, now. Don’t be sad! You’ll both be fine, really! Fusososososo!” But Spain’s magic charm didn’t work this time. If anything, it only made Romano’s tears fall faster and thicker than before.

Finally, the two brothers broke apart, but held each other’s hands firmly. Romano, taking pity on the other nations explained.

“Veneziano’s instincts have always been accurate. So accurate, that it’s downright scary. I remember, one night he woke up sobbing; he’d had a terrible nightmare of Grandpa Rome fading away. Our grandfather never came home that night. Nor the night after that. That night that he had the dream was the night our Grandfather died.” The two let the nations digest that for a moment before continuing.

“Ve… The same thing happened with Holy Rome… When I said goodbye to him, I _knew_ that he wasn’t coming back… that he wouldn’t live to return to me. And the night he died, I saw him fade away too… Just like with Grandpa Rome… As I grew older my ability became stronger, too. I began to _feel_ when things would happen before they did. That’s why I switched sides in World War II. I knew something bad would happen if I didn’t… I’d had a terrible nightmare of Germany fading away, too, though it was distinctly different than the other ‘fading’ dreams. It was different because he didn’t fade completely, he just started to, but I woke up before he could completely fade away. That’s why I changed sides, so he wouldn’t die, too…”

Germany sat there, flabbergasted. Italy switched sides in WWII to save his life? Why had he never told him? Why did he never say anything?

Japan finally understood why Italy had changed sides. He’d always wondered about it, but thought it best not to bring it up. The pieces never fit before. Italy was loyal to a fault, and there was no way that he’d ever betray his friends, so why would he suddenly abandon them in their greatest hour of need? Now he finally understood; he’d done it to save them from an even worse fate.

“I’d known something was going to happen to America a few days before Pearl Harbor, and to Japan about 2 weeks before the atom bombs… I’d tried to warn them, to help in some way, but… I really have no way to do so… I’m sorry… I’d also felt something the day Prussia dissolved… I’d had a dream where he was holding his flag, and the flag started vanishing and Prussia along with it, until Germany came along, and handed him the German flag, and Prussia started fading back into existence again…”

The nations looked at Italy in shock. Italy had premonitions of the future? It certainly seemed like it. If nothing else, his instincts were, as Romano stated before, scarily accurate. But what did that have to do with anything?

“Whenever a nation that I know has fallen or has been attacked, I’ll get some sort of warning. I haven’t seen Prussia fade yet, so we don’t have to worry at this point. The closer to the person I am, the more warning I’ll get. Same with danger. The last time Romano was attacked, I had a full 3 month warning.”

“Romano, do you have this ability, too?” Spain asked curiously.

“No. It’s just Veneziano. But I _do_ have the ability to sense when someone’s lying or keeping information from me. My instinctual ability lies in that. It’s as strong and accurate as Veneziano’s ability.”

“So what does this have to do with anything…?” Canada asked hesitantly, afraid that his suspicions were correct.

“I… For a few years, now, I’ve been having this feeling… I know with absolute surety that either myself or Romano will one day fade away… I dread the dream that will come… My instincts scream at me… They tell me that we’re in danger… In danger of dying… But I don’t know why and I don’t know who…” Italy looked at the table, glaring fiercely in frustration.

The nations remained frozen. Italy was dying, now, too? Or Romano? So if Prussia wasn’t bad enough, one of the Italy Twins was going to fade away?

Japan connected the major dots first. It didn’t take a genius to come to the conclusion that Feliciano would likely be the one to fade. The capital of their nation was Romano’s original capital: Rome. Feliciano’s original capital was Venice, which was also sinking. The obvious conclusion was that the bubbly cheery happy-go-lucky Italian was the one that was destined to fade. Japan pushed down his anger. He would _not_ let him go without a fight. He was not about to lose his friend, or his brother. Both of the Italy Twins would live. He’d make sure of it.

“Perhaps… we should take another break?” Prussia suggested. Lovino and Feliciano shot him a grateful look.

“Ja… I… agree. Break for a two hour lunch!” Germany said. He was so confused. Italy was dying? Or was it his brother? How? And when? Were they sick? Was it their nation? Could they be protected? He looked down, when Japan grabbed his left wrist. It took him a moment to realize his hands had been shaking under the table.

“They’ll be all right, Germany-san.” He spoke in a soft tone. “We’ll make sure to protect them with all we have. So for now, let’s enjoy the company we have today. Hai?” The German forced himself to relax a bit as he nodded.

“Danke.” He mumbled to him. Everything would be all right. It had to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~! How has everyone been? I’m sorry the update took a little while longer. While this is my most popular story, sadly, it is my least favorite of the four Hetalia fanfictions I have posted up right now. I find it childish/shallow at times, and the writing style annoys me. But since you’ve all enjoyed it so much, I’ll continue it. ^^ So don’t have a panic attack or anything. Haha 
> 
> As some of you may know, I have a poll up on my profile page right now. Please vote! Due to the most popular option having been, ‘Don’t go writing a new story, finish the ones you have up first, idiot!’ or something like that, I’ll post the next fanfiction only after I finish one of the ones I have up (right now it’s looking like it’s going to be HetaOni: Italy’s Story). 
> 
> I appreciate all of your wonderful reviews and suggestions! Unfortunately, I will not use all of them (as some conflict with headcanons or other entries, while others may conflict with pairings) but I will use quite a few that have been suggested to me! Please be patient while waiting for the updates. From this point on, I’m out of pre-written chapters. So you’ll have to wait until I can actually finish writing the whole thing from scratch. ^^
> 
> Thank you all~! Don’t forget to review and let me know what you liked and what you didn’t like. :) Ciao~!
> 
> Pages: 8  
> Words: 3,697  
> Uploading Date: Sunday, May 1, 2016
> 
> Oh, and for those of you who asked, I’m sorry I didn’t realize I forgot to explain it last chapter.   
> DIEGO IS MEXICO! He is Alfred and Matthew’s younger brother. Alfred is the middle child, and Matthew is the oldest. Maybe not historically, but I figure the personifications formed/met that way, and it stuck.


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